Imagine a conversation starting like this.
Oh, this is the feedback from the team for you, I made a spreadsheet, you are ...
- you are smart and brave for new work
- you don't listen
- you are unprofessional
- you write good codes, but ignore people comments, etc
Your manager (Tom) made a spread sheet to talk the good points and bad points about you (Bob).
Originally I thought this was common and OK way for a manager to give a feedback to a software engineer, but after learning and sharing between other engineers, I found this is not a good way.
Because all the feedback is not constructive, not only the negative ones, even the positive ones.
No joking, this unclear feedback, it may destroy the team, because
you are unprofessional,
- how unprofessional is unprofessional,
- is it dues to I broke a company cup by accident when I fix a bug?
- is it because I didn't buy Tony a coffee?
- is it due to I don't have a master degree?
Feedback receivers may think of a lot of
After this imagination, if your emotion is high, trust me you are not alone, the research says
Unclear feedback is very common. This is true even in performance reviews where the feedback giver had time to think things through.
- From Culture AMP Essential Feedback Session
Before giving or receiving feedback, we might better to learn how to give feedback (or how to coach team to give feedback for managers)
Unclear feedback will not happen, so be specific. For example, instead of say
you are unprofessional, say something like
- behavior, what
- impact, what it cause
- question, ask receivers' thoughts/opions
Hi Bob, something you did could be better, because I found you did not format your codes properly before you merge your codes(what), happened 3 times this week. This will give bad influence our code quality (impact). How did you see it? (question)
Even this is a negative feedback, it will still low a receiver's emotion.
If you are Manager Tom, and the feedback from Alice to Bob is not clear, try to ask Alice first to be more specific before passing to Bob, otherwise, you should not pass to Bob.
If the feedback is more than that, focus on one or two each time, and leave others for next conversation.
We might easy to give feedback based on what we think people are thinking. This is dangerous and give bias.
Try to separate behaviors from person. For example,
- Instead of
You didn't want to finish task=>
I found that you didn't finish task yesterday.
- Instead of
You are not a social person, I dislike it=>
I found sometimes your language was hard to understand, I would like you could improve your communication skills
Yes, all people feel defensive, especially for negative feedback, beware of your body language and tone.
- Relaxing your posture
- Uncrossing arms
- Nodding and eye contact
To ask back questions to understand the feedback, sometimes receivers may feel awkward, but without understanding it may give more problems.
- Try understand the feedback fully
- Show them you value their perspective
- Encourage open and honest feedback in the future
To give feedback
BIQand be specific
- Avoid too much feedback
- Separate behaviors from person
- Bewares of your own body language and tone, and try relax
- Communicate more to understand feedback better
You may have already experienced these unclear feedback, next time, try ask back to be as clear as possible, and when give feedback, try use
BIQ to give clear feedback too.
Thanks for reading.