Sloan's Inbox: How to Approach Your Manager When Interviewing for a New Job?

You are currently working at $corp and you want to ask your $corp's manager for a recommendation for a new job, but he doesn't know you want to leave $corp, and you don't want to tell him?

That doesn't sound possible but I probably don't understand the question.

Personally, I would not ask for a recommendation from my manager mid-interview. Please keep in mind, your exit from a company will create extra work for your manager. They will have to arrange for your duties to be covered (possibly taking the responsibilities themselves), and will have to put time and effort toward hiring a new employee - which takes away from other important work. I have no incentive to assist you in leaving if you're asking me for a recommendation with one foot already out the door.

All that being said - It's still possible to get your manager's recommendation. In fact, it happens more often in business than you might think. How managers respond to this request will vary by company and employee-manager relationship, but here's how I would approach:

• Ask yourself, "How open is the company's culture?" If your company culture values you as a person and not just a body performing a task, chances are the managers will be more open to assisting you with an exit.
• Ask yourself, "How's my relationship with my manager?" Bad relationships lack incentive.
• Ask yourself, "What are the consequences if I disclose I'm looking?" Beyond nefarious retaliation, it's possible that you could encounter unintentional collateral damage if your job search fails and you stay at the company. Example: Missed/lower pay raise because the company planned on you leaving during the comp adjustment period.
• Ask former colleagues who've left the company about their experience. They'll likely have insights on the exit process and may be able to provide context for discussing the topic with your manager or company leaders.

Assuming no red flags from the questions above surface, then I would have the conversation with my manager before I begin interviewing. Why? Because the manager may ask you to stay on for a little longer than you're intending to achieve a graceful exit. If you're going to play ball with your manager, it's helpful to know how much lead time you'll need while engaging with recruiters.