DEV Community

Cover image for Need a Good Laugh? Tell Us Your Favorite Coder Jokes.
Ben Halpern for CodeNewbie

Posted on

Need a Good Laugh? Tell Us Your Favorite Coder Jokes.

Help us fill the comments with some hilarious programming jokes. Okay, we'll start:

Q: Why do programmers prefer dark mode? 🌙
A: Because light attracts bugs.

ROFL. 😂 Share your faves in the comments below!


Follow the CodeNewbie Org and #codenewbie for more engaging, thought-provoking, and sometimes silly discussions just like this.

Top comments (34)

Collapse
 
danielintempesta profile image
Daniel Intempesta

A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd.

First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.

Source: mobile.twitter.com/brenankeller/st...

Collapse
 
ant_f_dev profile image
Anthony Fung
  • and parallel task programming

The two most difficult things in computing are

  • naming
Collapse
 
integerman profile image
Matt Eland

Don't forget off by one errors.

Collapse
 
ant_f_dev profile image
Anthony Fung

I'm going to hide the fact that I hadn't heard of that one by saying "that's why it's not on the list - it's off by one" :)

Collapse
 
longmenzhitong profile image
longmenzhitong
  • and how to control yourself not to hit the head of the product manager
Collapse
 
wiktorwandachowicz profile image
Wiktor Wandachowicz
  • and change of requirements specification
Collapse
 
jmfayard profile image
Jean-Michel (double agent) • Edited

That's a great question, and after reading it, I totally needed to write down my own collection of programming wisdom.

“The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris” ― Larry Wall,

There are only two really difficult things in programming: cache invalidation, naming things and off by one errors.

UNIX is sexy: who | grep -i single | date ; cd ~ ; unzip ; touch ; strip ; finger ; mount ; gasp ; yes ; uptime ; unmount ; sleep

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems.

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.  We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.”

Even more at ➡ jmfayard.dev/programming-quotes/

Collapse
 
alisinayousofi profile image
Ali Sina Yousofi

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

Collapse
 
adarshmadrecha profile image
Adarsh Madrecha

Can anyone explain this joke?

Collapse
 
wdev733 profile image
wdev733 • Edited

Oct (Octal) 31 = 8 * 3 + 1 = 25
Dec(Decimal) 25 = 2 * 10 + 5 = 25

Collapse
 
wizdomtek profile image
Christopher Glikpo ⭐

Why did the programmer quit his job? He didn't get arrays.

Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.

Why did the database administrator leave his wife? He found out she was normalizing their relationship.

Collapse
 
integerman profile image
Matt Eland

Yeah, those one-to-many relationships will do you in every time.

Collapse
 
kkm000 profile image
Cy "kkm" K'Nelson

The comment is funnier than the OP joke! (Sorry, OP.)

Collapse
 
cubiclesocial profile image
cubiclesocial

I prefer light mode. Once the bugs are attracted, it makes it easier to squash them.

Collapse
 
wdev733 profile image
wdev733

A programmer was smoking.
A girl came to him and said. "Do not smoke. Don't you see this? It says - Warning! Smoking kills"
A programmer replied. "We don't care about warning. we are only interested in errors"

Collapse
 
kerthin profile image
Roden

true programmer wouldn't even pay attention to a girl 🚬

Collapse
 
kkm000 profile image
Cy "kkm" K'Nelson

Hwat??? No way!!!

Collapse
 
tracygjg profile image
Tracy Gilmore

My two favourite computing jokes are quite old.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware fault.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't .

Collapse
 
medmor_65 profile image
medmor

Programmers don't try baseball. They are afraid of catching errors.

Collapse
 
integerman profile image
Matt Eland

PHP.

That's the joke!

Collapse
 
cubiclesocial profile image
cubiclesocial • Edited

Yup. Medicare is a bit of a joke these days.

Collapse
 
savvasstephnds profile image
Savvas Stephanides

An SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. It walks up to them and asks: 'Can I join you?'

Collapse
 
tumorb9 profile image
Mohammed Hamza (Horse Radish) • Edited

I think I understood what single letters in prgramming languages meant
C = "C , how easy it is "
R = " if you Cant figure it out , u R n big trouble || U R in the wrong field"
PHP = " Pee , in a Heat Pipe"
thats it ,

hope you have a good laugh and good day or night

Collapse
 
dominikj111 profile image
Dominik • Edited

Great reading :) ... my most favorite is @javierriveros "This is too generic".
I have couple as well ... maybe not a joke but reason to cry when you hear this.

  1. It works, so ...
  2. Why do you need do this?

I would to point that the second one is not a question of scrum master nor pair partner when it would be legit.

Collapse
 
kkm000 profile image
Cy "kkm" K'Nelson

I first heard this one some 25 years ago. Authorship is perhaps impossible to establish. This is a definition of folklore!

0xA programmers

0xA young programmers began to work online,
One didn't pay for Internet, and then there were 9.

9 young programmers used copies that they made,
But one was caught by FBI, and then there were 8.

8 young programmers discussed about heaven,
One said "It's Windows 95!", and then there were 7.

7 young programmers found bugs they want to fix,
But one was fixed by the bug, and then there were 6.

6 young programmers were testing the hard drive,
One got the string "Format complete", and then there were 5.

5 young programmers were running the FrontDoor,
The BBS of one was hacked, and then there were 4.

4 young programmers worked using only C,
One said some good about Pascal, and then there were 3.

3 young programmers didn't know what to do,
One tried to call the on-line help, and then there were 2.

2 young programmers were testing what they done,
One got a virus in his brain, and then there was 1.

1 young programmer was mighty as a hero,
But tried to speak with user, and then there were 0.

Boss cried:"Oh, where is the program we must have?!"
And fired one programmer, and then there were 0xFF.

Collapse
 
tumorb9 profile image
Mohammed Hamza (Horse Radish)

so a CS wife was in labor then gave birth , the father asked : is it a boy or a girl ? the CS wife said yes .
it`s OR logic humor

Collapse
 
tumorb9 profile image
Mohammed Hamza (Horse Radish)

burst laughing first time I heard it in a Boolean logic video

Collapse
 
abhikbanerjee99 profile image
Abhik Banerjee

What did garbage collector say to the dangling pointer?
"That's my spot"