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Cover image for A Developer's Guide To Setting Boundaries
Richard Donovan
Richard Donovan

Posted on • Originally published at tmsd.substack.com

A Developer's Guide To Setting Boundaries

Introduction

I’ve witnessed developers and leaders work themselves into the ground.

They people-please, stay late, and don’t want to disappoint anyone.

I’ve also witnessed them turn their life around without letting people down…

How?

🟢 By Setting Boundaries.

Setting boundaries helps achieve balance, preserve mental wellbeing, and create sustainable productivity.

This article provides practical strategies for establishing and enforcing them.


Key Takeaways 🔑

✅ Understanding Boundaries:

Boundaries define acceptable behaviour, workload limits, and personal space.


✅ Importance of Boundaries:

Boundaries are crucial for safeguarding:

🟢 Time
🟢 Energy
🟢 Mental health

Setting boundaries increases productivity, reduces stress, and improves work-life balance.

They enable developers to:

👍 Avoid burnout
👍 Manage expectations
👍 Cultivate healthier relationships


✅ Setting Boundaries:

Effective boundary-setting involves assertively communicating limits and advocating for your needs.


🟢 This is a short version 🟢

Find out more about:
👉 Understanding Boundaries
👉 Identifying Boundary Violations
👉 Addressing Boundary Violations

In the full version here:

💚 A Developer's Guide To Setting Boundaries

Words < 1000 - Read time < 5 mins

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Why It Matters 🤷

Setting boundaries is a necessity for wellbeing and productivity.


Poor Wellbeing

Without clear boundaries, you risk falling prey to a never-ending cycle of overwork, stress, and burnout.

You’ll find yourself constantly on call, staying late, and people-pleasing.

You’ll feel like you can’t say no.


Decreased Performance

Failing to enforce boundaries takes a toll on your mental and physical health.

It undermines the quality of your work.

Burnout looms…

Then…
🔴 Decreased productivity,
🔴 Diminished creativity,
🔴 Increased errors…


Toxic Culture

Boundary violations breed resentment and erode trust within teams.

When boundaries are disregarded, it sends a message that individual wellbeing is secondary to project demands.

This attitude fosters toxicity and undermines collaboration.

You reclaim control over your time, energy, and priorities by setting boundaries.

You create space for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation and bring your best self to work.


Take Action 🔥

1. Recognise Your Limits:

Start by acknowledging your own limits.

Reflect on what aspects of your work and personal life are most important to you and where you may be experiencing boundary violations.

Decide what behaviour is acceptable or unacceptable to you.


2. Establish Clear Boundaries:

Establish clear boundaries around your workload, communication channels, and personal time.

Set realistic expectations for yourself and others, and don't hesitate to say no when necessary.

You can categorise your boundaries as soft (some leeway) or hard (non-negotiable).


3. Communicate Assertively:

Assertive communication is key to effectively addressing boundary violations.

Establish your core personal values to help communicate what is important to you.

Practice with friends and family to gain confidence.


4. Set Priorities:

Prioritise tasks and responsibilities based on their importance and urgency.

Learn to delegate or renegotiate commitments.

We don’t realise it, but deadlines are often negotiable.
People are more understanding than we first think.


5. Seek Support:

If you're having trouble addressing boundary issues on your own, don't hesitate to seek support from trusted colleagues, mentors, or HR.

Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer valuable insights and support.


6. Practice Self-Care:

Finally, prioritise self-care and wellbeing.

Make time for activities that rejuvenate and replenish you, whether exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.

You'll be healthier and more productive by proactively addressing boundary violations and prioritising your wellbeing.


Rich’s Recommendations

Check out my recommendations to improve your wellbeing, mindset, leadership or tech skills:

👍 Set Boundaries, Find Peace (Audible) End the struggle, speak up for what you need and experience the freedom of being truly yourself.

👍 Personal Values Selector: Great tool to start defining your core personal values.

👍 Crushing Digital - David Roberts Get help to stand out in the market, land more interviews and get the job you deserve.

👍 NK’s weekly newsletter to learn system design:

Newsletter: System Design Newsletter

👍 Dev Leader’s weekly newsletter to help you level up as a software engineer!

From a Principal Engineering Manager at Microsoft.

Newsletter: Dev Leader Weekly

👍 John Crickett’s weekly coding challenge to help software engineers level up:

Newsletter: Coding Challenges


Closing

Setting boundaries is about reclaiming control over your time, energy, and priorities.

Remember, setting boundaries isn't selfish—it's an act of self-preservation and self-respect.

You protect yourself from burnout by prioritising your wellbeing and advocating for your needs.

You also contribute to a culture of respect, transparency, and collaboration within your team.

Take a stand for yourself and your fellow developers. 👍


Remember

There's nothing more important than your own wellbeing!

Top comments (2)

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jonrandy profile image
Jon Randy 🎖️ • Edited

In one of my first developer roles, our boss absolutely insisted that no-one work late and that we should always try to leave on time. She firmly believed in work-life separation and that it was ultimately beneficial for everyone.

I've carried that with me ever since, and never work late or more than I have to (unless there is a genuine emergency - which is extremely rare).

You work to live, not live to work.

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r1ch4rd_donovan profile image
Richard Donovan

Totally agree @jonrandy

The irony is that with this kind of attitude, people will put in that extra effort if a genuine emergency arises.

I've worked at places in the past where it would tick over to 5:30 and you could feel people looking around because they didn't want to be the first one to leave...

This is spot on - "You work to live, not live to work." 👍