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What's your best software pun?

molly_struve profile image Molly Struve (she/her) ・1 min read

Yesterday I realized that I had included a great pun in my Cache is King conference talk(besides the title of course!) without even knowing it.

My team and I were bound and determined to find the root cause of our MySQL woes

So my challenge to you is, what is the best software pun you have heard or you yourself have dished out?!

The more cringe-worthy the better!!!

Discussion

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flexdinesh profile image
Dinesh Pandiyan

Why was the developer unhappy at their job?

They wanted arrays.


More at dad-jokes repo by the bos man Wes Bos. I chuckle every time I open up that repo.

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pv profile image
paul vincent

Can someone explain this to a German?

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bmw2621 profile image
Ben Winchester

Arrays sounds like "a raise". Google translate says "Gehaltserhöhung" means pay raise.

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desirepeeper profile image
Ali Almohsen

But instead got an object? Badoom tss

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kcorneau profile image
kaylani maka corneau

Oh, I thought maybe it was getting a little too app_le'y ;$

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Lauren Brassaw

Thought they were tired of fiddling with their boss’s backend!

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armw4 profile image
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rubiin profile image
Rubin

How JavaScript developer break ups:
I promise to callback later

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abraham profile image
Abraham Williams

The two hardest problems in software development are:

  1. naming things
  2. cache invalidation
  3. off-by-one errors
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ngacho profile image
Ngacho

The best one I have ever heard is

A programmer accused of unreadable code refuses to comment😂😂

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buinauskas profile image
Evaldas

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

Classic 🙂

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sudiukil profile image
Quentin Sonrel

Love this one

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molly_struve profile image
Molly Struve (she/her) Author

Here's a couple from the pun king himself, Aaron Patterson.

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jgaskins profile image
Jamie Gaskins

Them: Why do you hit the keys so hard while you're coding?

Me: I'm practicing strong typing!

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lampewebdev profile image
Michael "lampe" Lazarski

Oh, the typed ruby one is so good 😀

I will use it next time someone brings up typescript!

🤣🤣🤣

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metalmikester profile image
Michel Renaud

Not a pun, but from the index of the dBASE III Plus manual back in the '80s (when software came with printed manuals so big you could kill someone with them):

  • Endless Loop: See Loop, Endless ... ...
  • Loop, Endless: See Endless Loop
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shushugah

A painful and epic exchange at the last European Ruby Conference, hosted on a cruise ship in Rottermda, Netherlands!











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Zohar Peled

punch cards. No, not really, I'm not that old.

My personal favorite is probably this Rick Cook quote:

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

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baweaver profile image
Brandon Weaver

TCP is just SYNACKtic sugar.

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elmuerte profile image
Michiel Hendriks

Don't push me to commit or I'll git ya.

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elmuerte profile image
Michiel Hendriks

I have to interrupt this thread. I would normally not do this, this is an exception.

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neowelkin profile image
PRATEEK TEWARI

The DOM people see -DOM

The DOM I see - DOM

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elmuerte profile image
Michiel Hendriks

Forking a repo is no cutting edge technology. A branch manager could do it.

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covertpluto profile image
Alex ***ng

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft office pun?
Me: Word.

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neowelkin profile image
PRATEEK TEWARI

The chief executive yelled at everyone,
"Functional or not,we have to deliver,the components to our client by tonight, so I don't care how you do it,get a bundler,get it bundled, We(b)pack tonight,we ship".

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Fulton Browne

this one

Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Yes.

this one

!false

It's funny 'cause it's true.

and this one

nock Knock!

An async function

Who's there?

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elmuerte profile image
Michiel Hendriks

A digital kanban board isn't as tearable as a bunch of sticky notes.

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glsolaria profile image
G.L Solaria
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M. Ray Mullins

Not a pun, but old-school fun with COBOL:

88 RESOUNDING-CRASH. VALUE “YES”

PERFORM BACKFLIPS-AND-SOMERSAULTS UNTIL RESOUNDING-CRASH

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elmuerte profile image
Michiel Hendriks

Data access from multiple threads is knot easy to handle.

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neowelkin profile image
PRATEEK TEWARI

I was so stressed,I drank it all in one gulp.
Grunted for an hour,before it came out of my System.

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Harsh Rathod

Teacher: What is a wild pointer?
Me: Survivor of the wild. 😂

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PRATEEK TEWARI

I generally don't React,but when I do, I get components.

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Russell Watson

The absolutely best pun is:

"It's not a bug, it's a feature!"

Sadly, however, it's just not funny, because it hurts.

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neowelkin profile image
PRATEEK TEWARI

I went to Comic Con - sole purpose was to enjoy. Lost my i-card, got Logged out of it.

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neowelkin profile image
PRATEEK TEWARI

I used to call her babe. She told babeLoves you. Turned out she loved my friend called You. All this time they were transpiling(I mean conspiring) against me.