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What's your best software pun?

molly_struve profile image Molly Struve (she/her) ・1 min read

Yesterday I realized that I had included a great pun in my Cache is King conference talk(besides the title of course!) without even knowing it.

My team and I were bound and determined to find the root cause of our MySQL woes

So my challenge to you is, what is the best software pun you have heard or you yourself have dished out?!

The more cringe-worthy the better!!!

Discussion

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Why was the developer unhappy at their job?

They wanted arrays.


More at dad-jokes repo by the bos man Wes Bos. I chuckle every time I open up that repo.

 

Can someone explain this to a German?

 

Arrays sounds like "a raise". Google translate says "Gehaltserhöhung" means pay raise.

 

But instead got an object? Badoom tss

 

Oh, I thought maybe it was getting a little too app_le'y ;$

 

Thought they were tired of fiddling with their boss’s backend!

 
 

How JavaScript developer break ups:
I promise to callback later

 

The two hardest problems in software development are:

  1. naming things
  2. cache invalidation
  3. off-by-one errors
 

The best one I have ever heard is

A programmer accused of unreadable code refuses to comment😂😂

 
 

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

Classic 🙂

 

Love this one

 

Here's a couple from the pun king himself, Aaron Patterson.

 

Them: Why do you hit the keys so hard while you're coding?

Me: I'm practicing strong typing!

 

Oh, the typed ruby one is so good 😀

I will use it next time someone brings up typescript!

🤣🤣🤣

 

Not a pun, but from the index of the dBASE III Plus manual back in the '80s (when software came with printed manuals so big you could kill someone with them):

  • Endless Loop: See Loop, Endless ... ...
  • Loop, Endless: See Endless Loop
 
 

A painful and epic exchange at the last European Ruby Conference, hosted on a cruise ship in Rottermda, Netherlands!











 

punch cards. No, not really, I'm not that old.

My personal favorite is probably this Rick Cook quote:

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

 

I have to interrupt this thread. I would normally not do this, this is an exception.

 

The DOM people see -DOM

The DOM I see - DOM

 

Forking a repo is no cutting edge technology. A branch manager could do it.

 

Don't push me to commit or I'll git ya.

 

The chief executive yelled at everyone,
"Functional or not,we have to deliver,the components to our client by tonight, so I don't care how you do it,get a bundler,get it bundled, We(b)pack tonight,we ship".

 

Not a pun, but old-school fun with COBOL:

88 RESOUNDING-CRASH. VALUE “YES”

PERFORM BACKFLIPS-AND-SOMERSAULTS UNTIL RESOUNDING-CRASH

 
 

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft office pun?
Me: Word.

 

this one

Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Yes.

this one

!false

It's funny 'cause it's true.

and this one

nock Knock!

An async function

Who's there?

 

A digital kanban board isn't as tearable as a bunch of sticky notes.

 
 

Data access from multiple threads is knot easy to handle.

 

I went to Comic Con - sole purpose was to enjoy. Lost my i-card, got Logged out of it.

 

I used to call her babe. She told babeLoves you. Turned out she loved my friend called You. All this time they were transpiling(I mean conspiring) against me.

 

I was so stressed,I drank it all in one gulp.
Grunted for an hour,before it came out of my System.

 

I generally don't React,but when I do, I get components.

 

Teacher: What is a wild pointer?
Me: Survivor of the wild. 😂

 

The absolutely best pun is:

"It's not a bug, it's a feature!"

Sadly, however, it's just not funny, because it hurts.