What's the best or worst recruitment line you have heard?

For some reason, I only ever get messages about being a Java dev, but this one was my favorite:

Requirements for the role include;

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tools for version control of code: Git (pronounced ‘get’) and Bitbucket?
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And I got this email twice, months apart, same (internal) recruiter, both times with the note that it's pronounced get. It's not pronounced get.

I've been in the oil field in tech for a while mainly in Industrial Software. I got a call for a job, the guy started with bashing my resume because my last title was Field Service Engineer. He said, "Where did you graduate from?", I said excuse me. He went on, "Well your resume says you were a Field Service Engineer, only engineers I know went to college". I said I don't know what to tell you that was the job title. So he pitched me the job description after that awkward exchange, and proceeded to say "you won't break my heart if you don't take the job". Same guy called me a few weeks later, I declined saying I had found another job. I was still looking though, but had a gut feeling not to take it. Worst phone call about a job ever.

I've been annoyed enough to hang up on two recruiters. One asked me to "rate my ability" in C# on a scale from 1 to 10, and didn't like my pointing out that C# is huge, so without knowing what parts their team uses, there wasn't any reasonable answer. Another tried to sell me based on the game consoles they had in their basement, pointing out that "sometimes the developers will stay at the office all weekend."

Then, there was the hedge fund recruiter who didn't seem to understand the large body of water between my home and his office (meaning that they're not "just twenty minutes away") and started talking about how every candidate takes a personality test. I didn't hang up, but I kept increasing my salary requirements until I was out of his price range.

I also once got a job posting that said "candidate must be familiar with technologies." I may have replied to that talking up my exposure to inclined planes and wheels, and may not have gotten that particular job...

Recruiter: We value our employees and I would like to know which religion do you practice?

Me: I won't tell you that. I believe there are countries where that question is illegal.

Recruiter: Then go to work to those countries if you feel special. hang off.

I took a course on Tech Interviews, they said that when they ask you about your religion what they are trying to know if they can put you to work on weekends.

I can't work out if this is the best or the worst, definitely an eye-roller. I get a lot of emails from recruiters trying to get me to look at their candidates. I'm replacing the name to keep it anonymous.

Subject: Steve needs some help

Morning Yuan,

Dropping you an email as I'm hoping you can help Steve, who was described by his last company as "a natural born leader, highly organized and an extremely innovative and detailed developer”

Steve has been furloughed since June and instead of jumping ship there and then, like many people did, he showed real passion and commitment to his current company, in staying there until they made the difficult decision to make him redundant ☹

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I fully expected the next line to ask me for a small monthly donation, anything I could spare, to help developers in need like Steve.

Excellent Java opportunity for all the years of experience I have with JavaScript.

Recruiter: oh? you're not European? You can't apply for this job!

Me (Juliana): I'm sorry I can't work on "improving" my citizenship.
Changing the city of birth is not something I can work to qualify for job openings.

It's something I'm dealing with since 2014. It's not about women in tech, more diversity, more women founders, etc... There's not really a space to live in Europe if you don't have the right passport.

The Worst

Any of the messages that:

• require me to email back with my resume to get the job description
• request my email...even though it is on every profile in addition to my website (via LinkedIn)
• require me to relocate...even though my website explicitly states above the fold that I will not relocate
• recommend me for any positions that I do not have anything to do with (e.g. manager for a medical office, senior java software engineer, any I.T. position)
• request that I forward the message to anyone I know with the chance of getting some reward if the person is placed

The Best

The best recruiter I have ever interacted with was humble, energetic, and honest. There were no frills or faking in our interactions. If he didn't know something, he asked questions, including where to learn more. Everything was about getting me in the door. I got the job, and he's since received a promotion to a managerial position. 👏

The best line I have ever seen was "Groupon, more like move on!". It is totally cheesy but the reason it is the best is that it actually worked and landed me at Kenna Security where I happily worked for move than 4 years.

The best one's I've had were direct and straight to the point. I got my current role via a third party recruiter and let me tell you, they are the first recruiter that's been upfront (literally in the first few lines of the email) about the salary range. The rest of the email then outlined the position in pretty good detail, where they same my info from etc. They even mentioned the company name which most recruiters don't, so I had more than enough details to know I was interested in at least having a convo.

I can think of a few others that were similarly upfront and went at least as far as an initial conversation.

One of the worst, that I did not even respond to mentioned something about it being a very long term contract (5-10) years which seems excessive.