TMM: Week One

I like quotes. I like words. I highly enjoy reading and writing. I don't do either of these things as regularly as I should.
This will be relevant before the end of this blog.

Last week, at work, I spent sometime listening to a podcast from the Blinkest that summarized The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod. While I had heard of The Miracle Morning, the most I knew about it was that it was another purported "self-help" book that claimed to be able to change your life. There are plenty of those floating about, and often, cutting through the endless chatter is frustrating. I like to consider myself practical. I'm more interested in a workable application of a principle than I am in listening to you, or anyone else, blather on about something that doesn't ultimately help anyone.

Well, the Blinkest made this system of having a good morning seem feasible. Maybe it was that they spent less than 2 minutes on each principle. Maybe it's just that it is so simple. It's constructed of specific steps, executed by yours truly, that could do a much better job of setting a day up for success than I ever could. My IQ isn't high enough to dream something up on my own (I think). So I took notes. While I didn't think I had the energy (or time) to cram everything in before I had to sit down for work, I knew I could implement at least some of it. I figured, as I went along, I'd slowly add in more and more until I had a good routine, and I felt the routine worked and was effective. They even slap a time limit on it: 30 days. Make it a habit, and you'll have a great morning for as long as you habit it.

They start by walking you through 2 principles that I wish (ha, see what I did there?) to high heaven someone had taught me as a child. The first is: You have the potential to be successful. DON'T waste time wishing things were different.

Let me take a deep breath here.

So you know how often I wish for something, anything to be different in my life?
Every. Single. Day.
I've been wishing my life away in any number of arenas, in nearly each situation, for a grand total of 36 years now, and guess who's fault that is? Mine.
M. I. N. E.

On the heels of this blistering realization comes the second principle: the way you think about your life forms your opportunities. The decisions you make are not isolated incidents that have zero relation to each other. I realized I have Rearview Mirror Syndrome in a baaaaaaaaaaaad way. As in, I'm so entrenched in my past that I have days where I still struggle to believe that I have any level of worth. Basic worth. Basic-you-are-a-soul-placed-here-by-the-grace-of-God levels of basic worth. While there are definitely some defining, perspective shifting moments in my past, I didn't realize until hearing about RMS that I am limiting what I will be able to do in the future by the way I'm thinking about the past and present. And believe me, there's tons Phil and I have talked about that we still have to do. There is zero way I've peaked. I'll sleep when I'm dead (lol).
Therefore:
"You succeed only to the level your excuses allow."

"How you do anything is how you do everything." -T Harv Ecker, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Alas, here is where we met our first hurdle: First goal: get up with your alarm the FIRST time it goes off. Ugh.

This immediately made me feel like I had failed in implementing the entire system. Does anyone actually do this? I mean, sure, there is someone out there who says "Yes! I do this everyday!" So let me clarify, does anyone actually do it, the first time they've ever tried, after a lifetime of never being able to wake up properly? I'm a chronic night person. I've never wanted (that I can remember) to actually get up in the morning. It's easier for me to just make the current day continue until my body can't stand it anymore. Then I collapse for a few hours before having to face everything all over again.

But maybe therein lies the reason I was struggling in the first place: I didn't believe there was anything to look forward to within the coming day. I try so, so, so very hard to keep the magic of the present day alive that I leave no room for the possibilities tomorrow holds. For most of my high school and college years, there wasn't anything I was excited about. There were so few reasons, it felt, for me to look forward to the hum-drum of my tomorrows that I wrestled with asking, "Is it even worth it? What's the point of even getting out of bed?" When my alarm goes off at 6am every morning, my brain is more interested in the backside of my eyelids because I'm likely doing things that are more fun behind them. Why can't I translate those things into what I get up and do each day?

This podcast says that I am subconsciously saying to myself "I don't want to rise to my life." Do you know how much a punch in the gut that is? We just went through the last four years of radically transforming our life and I don't want to rise to it? Why on earth? But here's the truth of what's been happening every morning: I've not risen to my first alarm. I've not put it across the room so that I have to get out of bed to turn it off. Having to do either of these things to force myself to get out of bed every morning just sounds stark and, painful. So what is it about our life right now that I don't want to rise to? What can't I get excited about? I have a super cool job. Yes it's frustrating because I'm technically still within the first year of being a professional, but it's allowed us to achieve 2 major goals: be debt free & buy a house. I've been working towards this so we could afford to do those things. So we can afford to be more healthy. So I no longer hurt all the time, my cortisol levels are much, much lower, and I'm no longer having routine anxiety attacks. Phillip has lowered his blood pressure and is actually sleeping at night. We aren't finished with these health goals, but, man, we've made so much progress!! We want to afford to have a family. We want to be intentional about our family and how we spend that time. This is just the beginning of the 2nd part of our plan. So I don't want to rise? Maybe? No, I think it's likely that I don't like the style of my alarm clock. I'll be doing more research into fixing that (I'm looking into one of those daylight alarm clocks or something).

Leaving that aside for further, deeper, thought, I was able to accomplish at least two other goals that TMM sets for you.
Second goal: go brush your teeth. Bring something fresh into your morning. Surprisingly, I have genuinely enjoyed doing this. It seems strange to say "Yeah, brushing my teeth was enjoyable!" but here we are. Until this last week, brushing my teeth was something I would just randomly throw into my routine. I'd do it usually before going out somewhere, but hadn't managed to put it at a set time to do everyday. Making it a set thing that I now do in my ritual of waking up has taken out the stress of "Oops, I forgot to brush my teeth!". I'm sure everyone I come into contact is like: yes, please.

Third goal: Drink a glass of water as fast as you comfortably can. This allows you to hydrate after a night of becoming dehydrated. Gonna be honest, this one I don't love. While I enjoy drinking water, I've decided that this needs to go after I brush my teeth because otherwise I'm likely to forget it entirely. After I brush, then I go start the water for my coffee and make sure I've got the coffee in the carafe. However, I've found myself sitting on the couch after starting my coffee and then nearly immediately jumping back off the couch to go grab this glass of water. There's also something about my body that's like "hey, WHY ARE YOU WAKING ME UP?" Now my organs make themselves known. They don't seem super happy. So this one is like a half win. Sometimes I remember it well, and sometimes I can't seem to remember it at all.

Fourth goal: Purposeful silence. Fight your stress with purpose. The podcast recommended a variety of things to fill this space, and for my morning this has been likely the most successful part of this process. This time is likely the part of the morning that I like the most. Typically I start with a wake-up meditation that focuses on breathing and relaxation. I typically wake up tense, because my sleep is so active. If I dream and remember it then the tenseness is even worse because my brain feels like I've not actually rested: I've just been active all night. Phil can attest to this as I am super active when asleep (I'm a covers stealer--sorry babe). So, to start off being purposeful about releasing that tension is most beneficial. I like to follow the meditation with reading. Most often it allows for a natural time to read the Bible, but I would like to cycle in books that might be additionally helpful in an area I'm struggling or trying to grow in. If you aren't a reader, you might try yoga, prayer, a gratitude journal or some other method of reflection. It's likely you already know what would work for you. If not, now you have permission to explore and make that discovery on your own.

That's week one. Or that's where I'm stopping for week one. This is a start in getting me back to doing some of the things that I really want to do. More reading, more writing, more time with the people that I absolutely want to cultivate time with. I've already discovered that it's helped me maximize the amount of energy I have to be able to accomplish things within the days. But we'll discuss this more as the weeks progress. I'll end with the quote I ran across that spurred this whole idea:

I'm going to keep trying. Even if it's just one more time.