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Eden Jose
Eden Jose

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Stand up eight

Whenever I have a bad day or something sh*tty happens and everything's just not working out as i planned them to be, I usually resolve to either running outside on the pavements until I completely get lost in the moment or I write down my thoughts.


Unfortunately, there's a storm reported to landfall in our area and I didn't want to be stranded on the road when the heavy rains come. I did managed to do some rope skipping beside the pool area earlier. While balancing myself between steps, my mind just seemed to played a continuous slideshow events of the past 6 months.

As with any start of the year, we're all optimistic that the new set of 365 days will bring new opportunities to all of us, well at least that's how I pictured 2021 to be. I didn't expect a lot of good things like being able to return outside without wearing masks since we still have the current pandemic situation. Countries have start to open up and ease up on their policies since they been actively deploying the vaccines to their people. though there's still a lot of restrictions.

People are being vaccinated here as well, but everything's at a much slower rate plus they're also prioritizing those who most need it. I have no complains on that, we're able to register for the vaccination in our local government (city) and we'll just have to wait when we'll be scheduled for the shots.

Going back, I ended my first #100DaysofCodeChallenge last February 14. Feeling victorious, I set myself up for another round. The next day, I began my Day 1 again. And then Day 2. Day 3. There were some bumps, but I pushed through.


Then someone messaged me for an opportunity for a new role in their company. I'm not really serious about it but I still entertained it. I was called by the recruiter and screened for some number of minutes. I was not really prepared so I probably missed some important bullet points which I should have mentioned. The person didn't called back after back. It was still fine with me because I got two more calls from other places.

I didn't admit it at the time but these calls feed my ego. I knew they're probably looking for a lot more and I was still on the average side - somewhere on the middle of the talent spectrum. I can say I have learned a lot in different industries during the pass 5 years but I know I'm still a long way from being an expert.

Still, I took my chances on the phone screenings. I eventually revamped my profile and updated everything, and then submitted applications. I got hooked with all the after-work meetings with different prospects. I stopped my #100DaysChallenge and focused on the meetings.

The Two Almosts

I got far on the process with two different organization. One was focusing on infrastructure automation using AWS and one was for a Docker and Kubernetes support role. Both were promising and both showed interest. I carefully weighed my chances on each one and after some thorough conversation with my wife, i decided that I'm ready to step out and move to a new work.


The only thing to do now is to wait for the final evaluation for both. So I wait. Then a week passed. The support role sent out their offer. They were low-balling the deal and I didn't want to waste the opportunity that I have in my present work by moving to a new one that presents almost the same deal. I had a good talk with the three different team leads and they somehow gave me the impression that they wanted me to join them.

Unfortunately, the recruiter reverted back and decided that they wouldn't be proceeding with my application. I was a bit hurt, though I guess it's in their right to pull out an offer if they deemed me as an unworthy investment.. I raised my concern to the person I've been coordinating with for more than a month now but since I have feeling it's the end of the line for me, I just thanked her for the assistance she extended to me and moved on. Besides, I still have one more I'm waiting on.

The second one took two months and a lot of follow-ups. All I got was that their management was still reviewing everything. I patiently waited. And waited. By this time, I stopped meeting other potential employers and locked in on one I have. I knew I shouldn't lock myself on a decision that might still get overturned but I was convinced that the meeting with the technical panel went well.

Three weeks turned to seven weeks. On the 8th week, I reached out to my friend who was working there (he was also the one who referred me) and asked if there's been any update on the recruiter's end. He got the same response that I got. The following week, he messaged me that the recruiter decided to store my profile for now.

Now, that really felt devastating. With both out of the options, I was back at square one. I had a lot of rejections from the past, and I meant a lot. I probably spent a thousand hours on interviews during ever since I got out of college. But this two is just, damn.

Stand up five

I tried to return to my regular day-to-day activities. I have to admit that it's a struggle getting the two could-have-beens out of my system. I got sick twice, and I was purging so much fluids out my body. I don't want to take it seriously because I did get well after almost being weak to function for a week, for each instances. So on those two weeks, I was almost always lying on my bed. I was not able to run outside nor do any exercise. My body was literally on a downtime.

As mentioned, I got well after taking some medication for days but it did not heal any anxieties bubbling up inside.

Stand up six

Eventually, I did receive a new call and this time, I took home the gold. There were a lot of back-and-forth thinking and talking to myself before I finally informed my teams at my current work that I'll be stepping out to head a new direction. All of them were kind and warm and generous, and to be honest, I wanted to bring my team leads with me if that's at all possible.

Change is hard, change is uncomfortable. But change is necessary to grow.

Stand up seven

A few days before my final week, I got sick again but this time it's with my eyes. I won't dive into details but it really took a toll on my productivity. Around this time, I tried to restart my #100DaysofCodeChallenge again but I had to abandon it because I was too damn disoriented with all that's happening.

And as if it wasn't enough, my wife was diagnosed with nodules in two separate parts of her body.
Nodules are lumps, possibly aggregation of cells and could introduce a higher risk to the body when it's size increases. We were really hoping that the doctor would advice that we monitor it for now or that she'll be prescribed with some medication.

We learned that the lumps must be removed and after an afternoon or rushing between places to secure lab tests and submit documents, we found ourselves inside of a hospital room the following day. Fortunately, our health card covered everything and all we had to worry was how the surgery went.

Stand up eight

It's been almost four days since we left the hospital and went home. My wife's much stronger now though all the stitches are still in the process of healing. My eyes are also recovering as well.
I might try to run again tomorrow morning if the weather's good. I also managed to pass the AWS SysOps Associate certification exam.

I'm also on my day 3 at my new work. 6 months ago, I wouldn't believe it if someone will tell me that this is how I'll begin my first week at a new job - all occupied with stuff at home.
I have always told myself that when I enter a new environment, I would dedicate my whole, undivided attention. Well, so much for that plan.

As much as it sucked how the previous months brought blow after blow, I can't they were the ugliest days of our lives. We've had worse. We took a real beating, that's for sure, we conquered the challenges, didn't we?

Man, these speed bumps really impeded me many times on the road and I have no choice but to slow down. Regroup, refuel, or whatever verbs you can think of. Ironically, the universe does listens and lends a hand when everything seems too difficult to handle.

I don't expect that it'll be smooth sailing from here on out.
What I am sure of is that we'll try to resolved what can resolved, take loses if necessary, and stand up at 8th, at 9th, or at 100th.

If you've read up to this point, I'd like to give my utmost thanks.
I know this is an avenue for all things technical, but I just thought 
I'd share a side of mine that isn't just about work, or study, 
or programming.
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