The 5 Stages of Grief in Tech Layoffs - a story

^{This is my personal journey through tech layoffs and how the classic stages of grief showed up in unexpected ways. No psychology degree, just my story}

Hola Mundo!

Theory says that when we lose something important, we go through 5 stages of grief. And yes, I know that losing my job is not equal from losing a loving one, however, I discovered that going through a layoff is surprisingly similar.

So get ready for this emotional rollercoaster ride of getting laid off. 🎢

1. Denial: "This can't be happening to me" 🙈

If you read my previous post, I said that the first stage of the layoff was the rumors. And this stage was really tied up with that moment.

• "These rumors must be false"
• "They can't get rid of insert here your project"
• "My performance is great surely I will be saved"
• "Changes are normal, surely they won't layoff too many people"

Spoiler alert: Yes, the rumors can be true. Yes, they can get rid of any project or professional if they want to.

2. Anger: "They can't do this" 🤬

Sadly, yes, they can.

Anger was weird to me. I was angry but I didn't want to give them the power to make me angry.

In this stage I promise I thought about all the bad decisions I thought the company took. Trying to answer myself why they did what they did, and how everything developed until this situation.

I'm angry at the company
I'm angry at the C-levels
I'm angry at my past self for not noticing before.

The deal is that, it's normal to be angry. My best advice here would be to speak up to your friends, family or mental health provider and be careful with what you post on social media or in your slack channel. Screenshots are forever 🙃.

3. Bargaining: "If only I had" 🤔

Here we feel like we could have done something different to avoid this. And don't get me wrong, I knew I couldn't change this for the company but yes for me.

Thoughts like "If I had not be so confortable maybe I would have search another job before...". But truth is that, there are no ifs, this is sooo out of our reach.

Nothing I could have done, would have changed anything. Company decisions rarely have anything to do with you or me, unless you are a C-level!

4. Depression: "I won't find another job" 😔

This stage was TOUGH.

If any of my close friends or family are reading this. Thank you, I survived thanks to all the support I had.

Mind you this was my first job in the industry so my thoughts were pretty much like this:

• "What if I was only good here?"
• "What if I bomb all the interviews"
• "We are mid summer, I won't find anything"
• "I can't compete with my ex peers"

Remember: This is ok. Is ok to feel bad, even is ok to feel that you are not enough, but remember that not all you think is true.

Try to sleep, be kind to yourself and then be objective. For me it helped to try new things, to remember the things I did and excelled in the past.

5. Acceptance: "Finally, is official" 😌

Acceptance for me came with at end of the process. So it was pretty much 2-3 months until I was here.

And don't get me wrong, I knew the layoff was going to happen, but I was in a different stage of my grief.

• I started to do some numbers to get my financials in order
• Did a couple of job interviews and felt myself again
• Remembered that life was not only this that I was living
• Told myself that this was an opportunity and good things will happen

Bonus Track: The Revival 🌱

This was another experience. I was not alone and after some exercise I also shushed that voice that was loud during the depression stage.

There are more companies and I do have good skills. So yes, is scary, and definitely a change I was not expecting, however, this is a wave I can ride.

If you are going through this, it's okay not to be okay. Maybe you will go through all these stages, or maybe yours will be different.

I promise you, this will pass. An while it does, here's a post to remind you that you're not alone on this emotional rollercoaster 🎢❤️.

^{P.S.: If this post made you smile even a little bit or helped you in the midst of chaos, my work here is done. Share it with someone who needs it! 🙌}