I recently attended a developer retreat in beautiful Golden, Colorado and ran into something that surprised me. We were doing an ice breaker exercise and you were supposed to mention something that you were working on improving about yourself. So I mentioned that I was working on finding better ways to handle my depression and anxiety. To my surprise, the majority of the people in our little group expressed similar desires.
With World Mental Health Day being October 10th, (and it seems like these are very prevalent issues in our industry), I wanted to post here and ask: Do you suffer from depression or anxiety? If so, what are some ways that you've found help you when you're having a tough day?
Top comments (51)
I've never gotten any strict diagnosis, but I have anxiety issues and some other issues. I'd like to eventually learn more about these things, but I've always managed it well. I'm very fortunate to work with people who appreciate what I'm good at and give me the leash to cope with things in the ways I need to. I'm not sure I'd be doing this well in a different environment.
I think of @greggyb 's talks as the canonical source of awesome discourse on the subject in our industry.
I've struggled with this exact thing for years. I have been medicated for ADD since college. But over the last few years something has slowly changed in my personality and I could never put my finger on what it was.
I started out just listening to this on my second monitor. But 10 minutes in I stopped working all together and really paid attention. Every point Greg made hit way to close to home.
Watching this presentation gave me the confidence to talk to my wife about what is going on. I showed her this video first because I could never articulate what was going on in my head the same way Greg did.
Because of this post, I'm taking steps to make my world better.
Thank you for sharing this Ben!
If I could, I'd give your post over 9000 hearts, and this video over 9000 likes, because I think you've just given me a huge pointer in the right direction.
Ben you're a lifesaver, God bless you, I've been there and still there, sometimes I ask myself why i was born, is this how I'm supposed to live and I sleep till 12pm on Saturdays or when on leave from work. I've struggled copying with relationships and I felt like I was toxic but I always got along with my software friends and they nag so we can go out and have a drink or something, it's weird I never feel so when I've had a couple drinks, I totally change and become a different person. Thanks again for the video.
A little bit of both. Giving up alcohol along with better fitness and even a spot of meditation thrown in have helped a lot.
Ive been dealing with anxiety for about 5 years now and my mantra has become "One thing at a time." I don't care how long the to do list is; one thing at a time. It also helps to remind myself that most situations have only a handful of realistic outcomes. That outcome may suck, and it may hurt for a while, but eventually it'll be forgotten.
Anxiety.
Day to day - finding a Job that doesn't trigger you very often, exercise, laying off caffeine has helped a lot. Staying away from triggers (i.e. social media, or certain friends, or situations)..
On my worst days I have medicine to help me cope. It brings me off the ledge and slows my thoughts down so that it's easy to process rather than having a panic attack. Particularly high stress situations.. but on my medication I'm cool, collected, and clear-focused. It turns my anxiety into a super power, is how it feels.
It's an important topic to talk about.
I personally never had to deal with depression, so I can only talk about dealing with a bad day. I found a great deal of comfort by reading about Stoicism. Learning that they are things outside my control, and not bothering at all about them. Many things in our jobs ( and lives ) are not completely inside our control. I try to make switch my focus inward, on things that I can control. I can't be sure that people will like my work, but I can make sure I do the best I can. If people don't like it anyway, did I do my best? If I did, there is nothing for me to worry about, I can't control those things.
Of course, easier said than done, but it's a daily practice :)
Any book in particular?
A guide to the good life by William Irvine.
Perfect to get started with the subject.
Thanks for sharing the link to the book and your first comment. It made me take another look at Stoicism after a few years (at first I misunderstood Stoics tbh).
I think I got it now and know how to fix some tiresome thoughts in my life.
Thank you again :)
I ran into depression when I got so many things in mind (side projects ideas, girl friends, wife, books to read,...) but I don't have time for them all. What I did to get out of depression is to hold them back all, and just focus on one thing that matter at a time. Anyway, it doesn't easy as it sound.
I suffer from depression, generalized anxiety, and PTSD. The biggest improvement has been regular therapy, but also recognizing unhealthy behaviors and being willing to change them. The hardest one and the one I'm being a little more active to improve on is self-compassion. It is so easy to say "why do I have to be anxious about this?", "why didn't I get that done or why haven't I worked on it more". It is harder to be as forgiving and kind to yourself as you might be to your friends.
I much appreciate your honesty here. I really like the "be as forgiving and kind to yourself as you might be to your friends."
This is such an important topic that many people don't talk about enough !
In terms of depression I never had severe problems with it I've had it but in combination with anxiety.
About anxiety I have been battling with a panic disorder for about 5 years now and the best advice I can give anyone is to seek help, I didn't untill last year and had a mental breakdown because of the stress and the underlying problem I wasn't treating.
Please get help, you don't have to live like this, this is something that took me 4 years to understand and when I finally did it changed my life.
I went to a therapist and stuck to my medication and I am completely different person now, I don't live in fear and constant anxiety.
Once you start treating it and sticking to your medication you will feel free.
Also this may sound really cheesy but meditation actually helps when you feel overwhelmed, there is a free app called aware that you should check out if you have these issues.
If anyone is battling this my DM is always open!
Thank you for your words, I really appreciate it!
I had a talk with my boss about this pretty recently, since I've been struggling with depression and panic attacks for the last couple years and only recently got help. My biggest tip is to go to therapy, take your meds, and go easy on yourself. It's really easy to see depression as a personal failing, when it's a medical problem the same way the flu or a broken leg is - it's not something you can just push through without hurting yourself more in the process!
When I feel overwhelmed, I take a second or a minute or an hour and just breathe. Sometimes that's enough, and I can put things in perspective and not break down. Sometimes it's not and I end up crying in the bathroom, and that's a good time to reset and reach out and say "I'm having trouble with this and I need some help, do you have 10 minutes to talk through X?" Asking my coworkers for help is hard, but they have a neutral perspective that is invaluable, and generally that's enough to reset my brain and let me focus on my work again.
Another thing that can help is changing what you're working on - I wasn't feeling good about my engineering work so I switched to the QE team, where I'm learning an entirely new skillset and still working on problems I care about. A change in surroundings can make a big difference!
I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a little over 9 years now, it's been a journey of a life time. Development is what has really helped me the most to cope with it, just having this little area to have where I can do what I like with and nobody can stop me feels amazing. In addition my friends are always there to cheer me up.