Most of us, if not all, feel as though we’re not enough at some point in some context. Since I’ve decided to make a career in tech, I have felt so at multiple points and so thought of writing about it. This blog is my point of view, how I deal with the feeling and what I would expect from the other person if I were to express to someone. My sole aim of writing this blog is to start a conversation and not just be more in touch with our feelings but also become more sensitive towards others.
Social media has definitely made a huge impact on me, and the large number of amazing, supportive tech communities is something that I am so grateful for. Unfortunately, just like everything else, I feel like the presence of so many communities and social media platforms is a huge contributor to this feeling. I’ll feel perfectly fine until I see this one tweet saying someone has learnt some new technology or a post on LinkedIn talking about this exceptional internship, they got at a famous company and although I am very happy to read such a news, it starts the ‘Am I doing enough? Can I achieve that?’ loop. It makes me criticize everything I’ve achieved yet and if I really belong to this field.
It’s not a good feeling to say the least!
Even though I absolutely understand why we feel this way, and it is very tough to think of it in any other way, it is really worth considering what we’re comparing to and who. Tech is such a vast field. New things are being made/launched every day, we are making progress in leaps and bounds, and we need to be mindful of that. Keeping up with that and expecting ourselves to know everything is honestly, a little unfair to ourselves. As long as we’re making some sort of progress every day, and that includes breaks every once in a while (especially when we need one!), scrutinizing yourself over every little thing is not a good idea.
Another little thing I love to remind myself is, that someone will always be better than me and I will always be better than someone. And this is also very contextual, I might be better than someone in one technology and that same person may be so much better than me in some other technology.
Talking to loved ones or anyone you are close to helps a lot too! They remind you of the efforts you are putting in and that at the end of the day that’s all that matters. I have been very lucky with the people in my life, they have always been very supportive of me and not just reminded me that I’m good at what I do but also that I am much more than just my career. It’s a great reminder that our career is very important, but it is not the only thing that matters.
Even though we feel this, I think we are not as sensitive to others or, rather considerate that others go through this too. When someone confides in you that they feel this way, the most common reply I’ve seen is ‘Don’t worry you’ll get there some day’ and although that’s a nice thing to say, I don’t really think that helps. Talking from experience, instead of being told I will probably get there some day, I would love one addition to that sentence: ‘You’re doing great right now, don’t compare yourself to them, but, if you do wish to achieve what they did, I’m sure you can and will get there some day.’ When someone is already feeling low, one ‘you’re doing great’ can go a long way, especially when they trust you with their feelings.
And in case no one has told you today, I think you’re doing great! :))
I hope this article pushes you to be kinder to yourself and those around you!
I would love to hear how you all cope with this feeling, please drop a comment and share how you do, it might help someone!