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The Way of the DEVELOPAH

tominekan profile image Tomi Adenekan ・3 min read

Warning:

Many have tried this path, few succeed ...
Proceed at your own risk ...


In life, everybody strives to be unique, to be different, being a Developah should be no different. A Developah must strive to generate code as unique as possible.

The benefits of being a Developah includes:

  • Increased Security (if no one can understand your code, how can it be hacked?).
  • It will remain the same forever, (after all, a testament to your creativity has to last forever).
  • It will have tons of new surprises (it is always best to keep the user alert, it stimulates the mind).
  • Your colleagues will be impressed, (who can write code the way you do?).
  • No one will mess with your code.
  • Everyone who looks at your code will know exactly who wrote it.

Here are the steps to achieve true greatness ...

Name Creatively:

A true Developah must strive to be as creative as possible. Naming conventions are for the witless. Functions must reflect the creativity of the Developah.

def printName(name): # <-- This is unacceptable
    print(name) 

def MaGICPUff(magicCounter): # <-- Much Better
    print(magicCounter)
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Variables Deserve Some Extra Love

Variables are beautiful, useful tools, they can be anything you want them to be. Give them some love, they deserve better than isReady or counter. They deserve the best of your creativity, things like howaREyOuFeeling or areYoUgOOdToDAY

def stROngForCes(HowaReYoudoIngToDAY):
    if IloveVaRIAblES == HowaReYoudoIngToDAY:
        print("hello world")
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Functions, All or Nothing:

Functions must do all or nothing, one thing is not enough or, it is too much.

def printName(name): # <-- Still Unacceptable
    print(name)

def maGIcPuFF(puffinDog): # <-- the developah way
    import requests
    response = requests.get(puffinDog)
    if response:
        print(f"Your name is {puffinDog}")
    else:
        print("hi")

def sOMeFuNC(complex, series, because, I, can):
    pass # <-- The developah way
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Life is a puzzle. So is programming ...

Developah's live for challenges, to be a Developah you need to encourage people to be challenged. It is good for the brain and the soul. So, here are some tips:

Mix and Match

They say mixing global and local variables is a terrible idea, but take a moment and ask yourself why? Is it because it makes everything complicated? But think about it this way, complicated is unique, unique is you. You are a Developah.

bObsMom = "Requesting thing"
def bObSIster(bObSMom): # <-- Tricked em ;P
    global bObsMom
    print(bObsMom)
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Misleading Comments

Ever have that annoying colleague that takes offense with every single line of code you write. Well, this will give them the time of their lives as they try to figure out this code

def requestData(url, data): 
    """Requests data from url"""
    import requests
    response = requests.get(url)
    content = response.content
    # Collecting data
    if bytes(data, "utf-8") in content:
        print("found")

    while True: # <-- Beauty of life
        pass
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Final Thing ...

Everyone says that you should organize files this way, or that way. I say no, organize it your way. The Developah way. Clean hates creative. Clean is boring.

This:

Ugly App
You look at that and you wonder if it even has any soul. I mean, look at it. It just wants to die.

Now, after you have spoiled your eyes on that thing.
Let me show you another one:

Beautiful

Look at that, look at the shining beauty. Everyone knows that this is you, you have made your mark in history as a Developah


Being a Developah is a long path. There will be tons of people telling you what not to do. Listen not to them, for they only speak lies. You know what you are doing, and you know it better than anyone, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. You are you. You are a Developah

Note:

Please don't try this at home, or at work. Or anywhere. Anytime.

Discussion (2)

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ignasave profile image
Ignacio Martin Vazquez

I laugthed a Lot 🤣

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tominekan profile image
Tomi Adenekan Author

I learnt what not to do the hard way. Thanks. 😊