When I first decided I am going to learn how to code I was terrified of making a mistake. Terrified of someone else seeing me make a mistake. Terrified of someone else thinking that I don't know something. What I told myself at this stage is, this stuff is hard and complex and you aren't expected to know everything. There are no stupid questions and there is a good chance someone else has asked that same thing before. Feeling bad or guilty for not being knowledgeable is a trait I find very prevalent in our society.
Our Society
In fact I find Western society such that we are taught mistakes are bad and we shouldn't make them. That we are bad or stupid for making mistakes. This belief makes it difficult to learn. Failure is the best opportunity for growth and learning but only if you accept yourself in spite of that failure. I mostly blame the school system but I can't keep blaming something I finished 10 years ago for my problems. So this is where the real work comes in.
Error Handling
We all make mistakes. It's how you react to these mistakes that will really define you. Do we accept the mistake and carry on? I would assume so. I would do this. I would solve the "problem" but be left angry with myself for making the mistake. It wasn't until I learned to really accept myself in spite of failure that it all really changed.
Mental Health
A big topic today. The Mental Health market was anticipated to achieve a revenue of US$36.73bn by 2023 this is what people are paying to simply "feel better" in a lot of cases (this is a generalization, I know it's much more nuanced than that). But one simple thing I found that I really think saved me. the general approach to software engineering and applying those lessons to other aspects of my life. This opened so many doors and cast new light on aspects of my life I didn't even know existed.
Let Me Explain
If something in my life wasn't going the way I wanted I always blamed myself for letting it get that way in the first place. Be it romantic relationships, financial situations or your day to day home life. Learning how to break down these big issues I was having into small actionable steps. Was life changing. Accepting myself in spite of the way things are and then doing something to better the future gave me so much hope. Then I started to see my problem differently.
Your Problems are a Bug in Production
This was the real part that hit me hardest of all these discoveries. Looking at an issue i'm having like a bug in production. Often the quick fix can break something else. Fixing your financial situation is great but not if it's at the expense of your mental health or families well being. Taking note of your issues then taking the time to get to their root causes is not always a quick easy fix. If it is, good for you but please be patient with the rest of us.
I hope this is helpful to anyone else struggling. Keep in mind this is what worked for me and may not be what works for you. I am by no means a mental health expert and just a person on the internet. I would be interested if you have had any similar experiences. Did the ways we solve software problems help you solve other problems in your life? If so please share them in the comments. Cheers and stay well everyone.
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