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What Crawls Into My Mind When My Free Trial Expires

AWS : What do we need free cloud credits for?

Microsoft Azure : What do you mean what do we need free cloud credits for? Why do you think we're offering all these startup incentives and free tiers? The whole purpose is to get new developers hooked on our services so they get comfortable with our platform and, you know, they can't refuse, because of the implication.

AWS : Oh, uh... okay. You had me going there for the first part, the second half kinda threw me.

Microsoft Azure : Well dude, dude, think about it: they're just starting out, they look around and what do they see? No other options that give this much for free. "Ahh, there's nowhere else for me to go. What am I gonna do, say 'no'?"

AWS : Okay. That... that seems really aggressive.

Microsoft Azure : Nah, no it's not aggressive. You're misunderstanding me, bro.

AWS : I'm-I think I am.

Microsoft Azure : Yeah, you are, because if they really didn't want to use our services, then they wouldn't...

AWS : Right.

Microsoft Azure : But the thing is, they’re not gonna say no, they would never say no because of the implication.

AWS : ...Now you've said that word "implication" a couple of times. Wha-what implication?

Microsoft Azure : The implication that things might go wrong if they don't use our infrastructure.. Not that they definitely will, but they’re thinkin' they might.

AWS : But it sounds like they might not really want to use your services...

Microsoft Azure : Why aren't you understanding this? They don't know if they want to use our services. That's not the issue...

AWS : Are you gonna trap developers?

Microsoft Azure : I'm not gonna trap these developers! Why would I ever trap these developers? I feel like you're not getting this at all!

AWS : I'm not getting it.

Microsoft Azure : Goddamn.

[notices hobbyist staring at them]

Microsoft Azure : Well don't you look at me like that, you certainly wouldn't be forced to use our services.

AWS : So they are forced!

Microsoft Azure : No one's being forced!

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