If you talk to another engineer privately about our problem while I am on-task I will consider the problem assigned to someone else and find another chore. If you talk to another engineer about me privately, expect both of us to waste valuable time arguing with each other instead of fixing something.
If you say "can we X?" when you mean "Do X." I will start considering everything you say to be a conversation starter instead of an instruction.
If you drop off our outage call to attend to another regularly scheduled meeting "our" problem will lose urgency.
If you schedule a group status call and then fail to join it because you were informed out-of-band I will assume law of the jungle and feel free to update your manager about my progress directly.
If you miss the group status call without explanation and then ask for a status, please expect little.
Your decision did not retroactively become our decision because something broke.