When I first heard the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show I immediately wanted to learn how to play the Guitar.
Throughout high school I practiced daily and continued for 30 years. I studied music theory, played in bands, did solo performances, played in church, and even had garage band practice on Friday evenings for years at a time.
I purchased custom guitars, amplifiers, effect pedals, Shure microphones, a nice PA system, Lexicon reverb units, compressors, a bass guitar and a top line bass amp and speaker cab. I had Amp modeling gear, guitar player magazine subscriptions for years.
I hung out on guitar forums and owned hundreds of CDs. I guess I just loved the guitar.
But despite all that I was never satisfied with my progress. I never sounded just like Eric Clapton, Eric Johnson or Tommy Emanuel. I did however sound like my own style. Something that was never pre-planned,rather it was just a mix of all I had learned and preferred to hear.
I was good enough to get paying solo performances for weekend work, but could never live off the pay.
Programming is similar in a lot of respects. It can be heavy on theory, is always creative and challenging, it's mostly enjoyable and there is always new 'songs' to hear.
Arriving to programming plateaus, just like guitar playing often leaves me thinking, 'What? That's all it's about?'. And on it goes, everyday a bit better off but never a Tommy Emanuel.