Ready to learn what web3 is? Great let's begin.
It is blockchain, NFTs etc.
This is the future of the web.
It solves all the problems with web development and if you don't know about web3 then you will not be able to get a job.
Learn web3 by building a NFT for no apparent reason or understanding the benefits, what it is useful for, where the problems are or anything of relevance at all!
Here it is in just one line of code (because we all know dependencies do not count towards lines of code or complexity):
import NFT_library_with_15000_lines_of_code_that_does_everything
import additional_library_for_no_reason
massive_library.make_NFT(asset);
See now you know how blockchain works, it's easy right? Now you can add Web 3 to your CV.
Got questions?
Don't ask questions, web3 is so well thought out that there are no questions.
Just join the cult and prepare to make 6 figures a year!
Don't forget to tweet about it every 3 hours and to write an overpriced 5 page book that explains nothing so that new developers will buy it get a tiny bit of info and then buy your other crappy tutorials and guides. We all know that student developers have money to burn!
And don't forget, if anyone ever has the audacity to question you, just remember to tell them that they are "a dinosaur trying to stop the future of the web" and a boomer!
To sum up
I just taught you everything you need to know about NFTs and blockchain. Now you can go and build the future of the web.
But if you need more information then make sure to:
Buy my book on Gumroad. 5 pages of super useful information. Minimum price is $15 as I am worth $3 a page.
Follow me on Twitter I post every hour just to make sure you remember me.
Read my Blog - I just copy paste my twitter threads into blog posts. I don't bother to format them appropriately though so you can struggle to read them!
Buy my Course. 27 minutes on Web3 for $99, most of it is just me reading from Wikipedia for you so you know it is good value for money!
Don't miss out! I have exclusive web 3 merch to show you are awesome. $69 for a water bottle is a bargain! We all need merch to make us better developers.
Work with me. I know how to turn a successful application into a super expensive blockchain powered disaster today!
Buy me a coffee! - Please, I need coffee to keep coming up with variations of the same crap!
Support me on Patreon! - Only 0.25 ETH a month to support my crap! I will even put your name at the end of my videos so you can become famous!
Fund my KickStarter! We are using NFTs to prove ownership of NFTs, it's genius! You get a cheap T-shirt if you pledge $99!
Venmo Me! - just give me money to show your appreciation for my ability to copy paste content!
CashApp Me! - Give me 1 BTC and I will follow you back!
GIVE ME MONEY! (please, people are becoming aware of the hype so I don't have long to milk this crap).
The Giveaway
Of course I can't leave this post without a giveaway.
I am giving away a free eBook worth $99 (well that is the price I made up for it, it is actually worth about -$20 as it will waste 15 minutes of your valuable time!) to one lucky person.
All you have to do is:
- retweet this crap and clutter up everyone's feed
- Follow me so I can feed you more of this crap
- Write a thousand word essay on how amazing I am
- Hire a billboard in Time Square advertising my Web3 course.
- Design a logo for my new site and transfer the copyright to me
- Create a 15 minute video on all the things you wish you knew about NFTs and make sure you mention me at least 10 times as an expert in it.
- Shave your left eyebrow on a live stream while reciting "NFTs are life, Blockchain is the future of everything".
How easy is that? Oh and you can do it multiple times for multiple entries...because I am a nice guy not because I need you to keep harassing people into thinking they have to know this shit.
Be cool my crypto cousins (or some other inane way to refer to you to make you feel a shred of belonging and make you think I care).
OK who rattled your cage this time angry man?
It all started a couple of weeks ago when Danny Thompson made a simple tweet "learn web2, get paid".
Most of the responses were people saying "did you mean web3" and that is just depressing.
It is also very worrying as majority of the people who follow Danny are new developers looking to get jobs / just starting out.
Then it got worse as it seemed that my twitter feed was rammed full of crap on Web3 that "explains things" by just linking to the same crap everyone else is quoting that explains nothing but shills some crappy book.
Then the final straw was a post I just saw in the DEV feed that contained about as much information as this post and claimed to be an "ultimate guide"...which sent me into angry man mode.
To be clear, I do love some of the things that Web3 will likely bring. I believe web3 will be part of the future, but it won't be the future.
I just don't want new developers to get consumed by web3 hype and lose focus on the stuff that will actually get them a job or buy crappy resources that offer no value.
p.s. I know i am writing troll stuff and cluttering the feed, just passing the time before I announce something big later today!
Top comments (34)
I'm surprised you had to go to twitter to get mad about web3 propaganda; there are at least two articles a day here that barf out the same tired web3 snake oil.
Web 2.0 was never anything more than a marketing term and web3 is also nothing more than a marketing term. Anyone using these terms as if they have real meanings should be avoided as they are either misinformed or malicious.
I thought your were going to tell me a funny story, this thing is like a horror flick for me! š¤£
Seriously though, thanks for sharing, it did indeed make me smile!
As someone who is gearing up to go out for funding for a business it makes me sad to see so many people riding "web3" without any real plan for monetisation, growth etc. and just burning investor money.
I take it after that joke of an interview you said no (or did you see an opportunity to get a great salary for yourself! š¤£)
This definitely hits home!
It kinda makes me feel better muting web3 cause someone else also has the same opinions.
I was also getting a bit consumed by web3, even if I don't really follow trends anymore. the web3 hype is really out of control.
Every single web3 thread and blog post explains the same things, and i still have no idea about most of it. Still looking for an actual good web3 explainer.
Overall, great post!
Thanks Sid!
Don't worry most of the confusion comes from the fact that people are trying to push blockchain and dApps places where they don't belong or add any value and so they have to write a load of fluffy stuff without actually explaining things.
I am thinking about doing a deep dive to look at filling the gaps (and assess where the technology is still weak) so if I have time and manage to do that I will send you a link to it!
So I totally get the use of block chain to democratize proof of "something" - I'd certainly like to be able to prove things without having to pay corporations to do it for me. Prove how much money I have, prove that I have achieved some qualification etc. I get it. I do not really "get" NFT - probably because I'm a boomer. I don't get owning something that grants no rights except to itself.
I suppose I do understand that ascribing value to something makes it valuable, and since all the banks dropped off the Gold Standard I guess I do think that something backed by a limited resource makes sense for BTC/ETH etc - so I get that.
On my wall I have a painting by the Scottish colourist Caroline Bailey. It cost me 10k, 20 years ago. I love it and it has value. I just don't see me buying an NFT for something today and feeling the same way about the investment... Then there is that case of investment wine I drank (ooops).
You covered just two of the many things that I "get" but don't get if that makes sense lol! We are just Boomers Mike, we are trying to hold back the future of the web remember!
Oh and I can tell you that "investment wine" will always be a pour investment (groan!) š¤£
Besides the wasteful energy consumption, greedy money-making schemes, and strikingly uncreative bored ape avatar artwork, there is another irritating aspect of web 3 storytelling:
How those Web 3 stans view the history of the internet: only looking at the evolution of www websites, they think "Web 1" was only static, non-interactive, and centralized. Which still doesn't make sense. Either web 2.0 must have started around 1997 when I uploaded my first website to Geocities, or "Web 1" was just a short-lived aspect of 20th century computing like Windows 1.0.
Doesn't anyone remember Usenet? I enjoyed newsgroups more than web 2.0 forums, slack and discord these days!
I definitely get this sentiment. The whole debate that these web3 hype posts started on twitter did help me to learn about the arguments for and against it in the first place. It seems like the main problem that web3 creators want to solve is decentralisation while maintaining trust.
Where it went south is the hijack of the conversation by fans that don't understand technology underneath and content creators that primarily care about making money. A lot of the true intensions behind web3 are now burried by content that skip straight to the 'how to participate' part.
Exactly, you just put my thoughts on paper far more eloquently than I could have, that is a great assessment of the current state of things and how we ended up here! ā¤
Why did you said the prices in dollars or pounds? You should change them to BTC or ETC to make it more satirical.
Scattered a few BTC and ETH in there for good measure, it makes it all the more amusing for people who know the value of the coins with the prices I have chosen! Great suggestion!
Damn, you are right! One second!
Will there ever even be a web 4? I remember when web 3 was supposed to be webapps or something... I'm convinced web 3 will stay a moving goal post for whatever is going to attract investor money. Or maybe I'm just ignorant, I haven't really done a deep dive into web tech yet.
Strange how twitter and dev make it look like the entire world of computer programming can be reduced to frontend and super high level libraries for ai and crypto.
How true, that made me giggle! š¤£
Yep my feelings right here!
Thanks for writing this down.
Everyone wants to get the followers that the hype brings.
No idea what they are blattering about, and instead of trying it, and writing meaningful content, they copy paste someone else article and change some words around.. š
Sorry but this hype is getting out of control.
And be aware anyone posting anything negative is just stopping the future from happening... š
Nobody seems to realise you still need to know the basics.
And that the basics are not even web1/2/or 3 specific š
Added!
Thanks for that, great bit I missed out of the grifter toolkit! š¤£
Yup, it has become damaging now, hence an angry rant lol!
This right here, I really should include this in the article, in fact, give me 2 minutes and it will be there! ā¤
Yeah sorry, I keep saying I have a load of stuff in the pipeline that is actually useful. I am just a tiny bit behind!
But I am about to embark on a gigantic undertaking and hopefully will announce that later today so please bear with me while I release some silly stuff to make you smile as a stop gap! ā¤