Why I don't specify pronouns

Can see preferred pronouns on some GitHub profiles.

I want to discuss why I don't do it, why I don't think anybody should, and why it isn't a good thing.

A recent example - ‘Concord’ Developer Demanded Co-Workers Refer To Her As “Professor,” Pushed “Extreme Politics,” And Demanded Her Unvaccinated Colleagues Be Fired. This come to light because of epic failure of Concord game.

Arguments for

Respecting rules and agreements of group/society/company is a nice social treat. That it.

Arguments against

1. Need to remember pronouns for everybody, add it to struggle to remember names of people in a company. Inconvenient.

2. Some of the pronouns contradict English grammar and common sense. It could be a big deal for neurodivergent people, so it's exclude them.

3. It's impose a set of ideology on everybody, how you will feel if somebody will demand to remove all globes from everywhere because some believe that earth is flat? Or putting a flat globe near every spherical one?

4. Person is falling for every trend and hype, better to use common sense approach. There are countless hypes in SE industry, css-in-js, microservices, and more. All of them has downsides and price to pay.

5. And most interesting topic, follow me.

There are some psychological treats that undesirable in a work place, even a red flag if we're talking about management. Narcissism is one of them.

Looking on definition of narcissism

selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type

And some description

Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people. Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important. Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them. Take advantage of others to get what they want.

So why this is a bad thing for a company?

There tends to be a higher level of stress with people who work with or interact with a narcissist. While there are a variety of reasons for this to be the case, an important one is the relationship between narcissism and aggression. Aggression is believed to moderate the relationship between narcissism and counterproductive work behaviors. According to Penney and Spector, narcissism is positively related to counterproductive workplace behaviors, such as interpersonal aggression, sabotaging the work of others, finding excuses to waste other peoples' time and resources, and spreading rumors

There are discussions about this,New York Times article

Some tactics used by narcissists:

1. Gaslighting
2. Playing the Victim
3. Projection
4. Hoovering
5. Smear Campaign
6. Revenge Seeking

Hope that you google this topic and think about it. All of it seems like some modern politics is justification of narcissism.

What about hiring?

Quote from wiki:

Narcissists typically perform well at job interviews; they receive more favorable hiring ratings from interviewers than individuals who are not narcissists. Typically, because they can make favorable first impressions, though that may not translate to better job performance once hired.

What you can do if you work with one?

Playing along

There is temptation to just appease such person, but it will make it worse in a long term. Such people (and other not so pleasant ones) desire power over others, if you go along with their games 1 time, they will expect it again tomorrow.

Fighting

Fighting and conflict isn't any better, narcissists develop many defense mechanisms to avoid dealing with their own shortcomings, they have ready to use proved tactics to win in such situation.
They will use manipulations and tricks, often dirty ones, playing a victim, lying, rumors and false accusation are expected.

"Solution"

Maintain your boundaries, preserve your right to chose your own beliefs, don't start confrontation intentionally, be professional and careful. I recommend to search for some YouTube videos on this topic, like "Surviving Narcissism".

What is your experience and opinion about this? Post it in comments.
Also, like and share this if you think it's interesting.