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Nevertheless, Angelfirenze Coded...

Nicole A. Moore
I started learning programming and white-hat hacking in 2004 without realizing it while using Livejournal and Foursquare. I'm a gray-hat interested in stopping that Ring psycho hijacker, for example.
・2 min read

So last summer, while battling an extensive tooth abscess, I partook in the #100DaysOfCode challenge through Team Treehouse. As much as I would love to say that it was an endlessly joyful experience, but it wasn't, to be honest.

I suffer deeply from Imposter Syndrome and I believe that's what made this so difficult for me. I tried to get out of my own way, as Tyrese Gibson wrote, but it was intensely difficult at times because my brain was trying to figure out what to do first, when.

Every time I wandered away from my learning style (typing along with the code shown in the video), I immediately ran into difficulties and a lack of motivation.

Being socially isolated, in general, for a very long time didn't exactly help -- when I post on Facebook, no one really responds. Those that do are a scant amount of relatives. As thankful as I am to have a large family, it doesn't really help an autistic person like myself if a branch of it views you as being too weird and many other things.

In the end, it took losing my favorite aunt to sepsis to spur me on to finally cross that #100DaysOfCode threshold. I really did feel like devoting my finish line banner to her, both on Facebook and Twitter.

Hacktoberfest2020 was extremely difficult because, right at that moment, I became employed in an extremely taxing job at my local major grocery store that took such a huge toll on my body that I really feel like I injured myself. So when I would get off work at eleven and had to get a ride home -- even though this was a part-time job -- there was absolutely no energy left in me to even attempt #Hacktoberfest2020. I prioritized sleeping, resting, eating, and doing yoga to try to cope with said utter depletion.

On the last day, I finally busted out some additions to people's projects because all month long, resources like RaiseDevs:

A site I came across, with the host of the videos I was watching on Twitch. The developer who specifically told me that issues and other, non-pull request-related actions would be accepted because WOW, were the rules changed to the point where I was completely perplexed and rather dejected because I never feel like I've learned enough. In the end, I didn't qualify because while I made the contributions, they weren't counted because the accounts I was trying to help didn't seem to be tracking anything going on in a timely fashion.

'Whatever', I told myself, 'I tried BLOODY HARD and I'm going to be fine with not getting swag this year because I had a situation that actually injured me', as I later discovered. I'm satisfied with my efforts even without the yearly t-shirt.

I'm on Social Security Disability, so learning programming from sites that I love, such as Team Treehouse, is not always an option, though they were willing to extend my account so I could finish. So I guess my entry is about how I do make attempts to continue my programming journey even when I am in intense situations.

So, yes, I guess: nevertheless, I coded.

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