Ah, programmers. The backbone of the digital age, and the unseen weavers of our online world. An offshoot of the Great Ape family closely related to humans usually distinguished by their bad postures, anti-social tendency and their ability to solve any problem using Google, just don't ask them to fix your printer. Within this vast tribe, there lurks a delightful diversity, each easily identifiable coding styles and personalities.
The Full-stack Developer
Fueled by copious amounts of cold brew and an ever-growing stack of hoodies, this programmer is typically a back-end developer who learnt how to centre a div. He now prides himself on being a master of both Frontend and backend and everything in between. Their workspace? A cluttered coffee shop where the only constant is the frantic clatter of their keyboard.
The Tech Bros and Tech Baes
This programmer is the archetype that launched a thousand memes. They embody a certain brand of bravado, often sporting expensive gadgets and the latest tech apparel like the Apple Vision Pro, Big curve monitors, Standing Desk and mechanical keyboards. often the first one to use the newest and most trending piece of tech in the market. They might drop tech buzzwords liberally and have an inflated sense of their importance. But, beneath the bravado often lies a genuine passion for technology.
The Tech Hater
This is a type of programmer who knows how unreliable & dangerous some technology can be and feels like AI is someday going to take their job. They mostly use Linux and spend a significant amount of time building software that the average developer has never heard of you will never find much about them online cause they are mostly security conscious and go to great lengths to hide their digital footprint can be found using 5 VPNs at a time and they usually have a surprising ability in Hacking.
The DevOps
This is a programmer who appears to have no particular skills in the sense that no one knows much about what they do but they are usually in every team and are mostly your boss all we know is that this programmer thrives in chaos. They can troubleshoot server crashes with ninja-like reflexes and automate entire workflows with a single script. maybe that's why they are always so smug.
The Introvert
This is the Hollywood cliche programmer variant and most times it's mostly spot on this is the type of programmer with little to no social skills and pretty much spends their entire free time coding and playing video games and is usually blessed with exceptional coding. In the 1990s people like this were bullied at school for being nerds but now thanks to the magic of the internet they have high-paying jobs and girlfriends who love them and not because they are now rich.
The Codefluencer
Its natural habitat is not a code editor like VsCode or an open-source platform like GitHub but a social media platform most likely Twitter after spending a day learning how to display Hello World in HTML this type of programmer thinks they are the best in the world and tries to makes the world a better place by posting memes and hot takes all day long and they probably will end up with a higher paying job than you as a "developer Associate" because he masters the act of virtue-signalling. not to be mistaken for
The AI-Powered Programmer
Over the past few years, Artificial Intelligence has completely changed how things are done in the modern world and no one knows this more than the AI-powered programmer most of them are even all for it they use the best and latest AI tools available like GitHub-copilot, Chat GPT, Gemini and so on. And with that, they can do their job five times faster.
The 10x Developer
There's a legend whispered among programmers of the mythical 10x developer. This elusive creature is a rare breed said to be ten times more productive than the average dev, churning out flawless code at lightning speed! Some say they're a myth, others pretend to be them but their natural problem-solving ability and their knowledge of codebase transcends beyond that of normal devs.
The Ancient Coder
The last of its kind some say there are only about 900 left in the world imagine a developer that is so old they saw the fall of the Roman empire, this particular type of developer is usually older than the internet and has Long silver hair with a big white beard like Gandalf the grey only codes in C or Assembly their favourite IDE is VIM and their Depth of knowledge transcends that of normal human; which is rumoured to have been discovered through psychedelics that are no longer available today.
Conclusion
so what do you think of these types of developers and how many have you meant in person? If you feel like I missed one let me know in the comments.
Top comments (45)
You forgot the Multi-hat Dev. Usually a one-man department doing all programming and IT for manufacturing.
"I need you to finish writing the firmware for the project. Also don't forget to create the user accounts in AD, set up new emails in Exchange and provision new laptops for the new sales employees."
"Did you check the integrity of both the on-prem and off-prem backups?"
"The CNC machine that uses an illegal copy of Windows 7 Embedded 100% in Mandarin won't connect to the network. Fix it"
"Can you make a plugin from scratch for our website?"
"Run an ethernet cable from the server room to a new machine in the back."
"What is an EC2 and why is it costing so much?"
"How good are you with Excel?"
"There's something wrong with the computer in shipping."
"Can I print a gif?"
"I want AI in my emails"
The chadded dev
I'm taking notes of the ones i missed
Oh, yeah, that's true
Nah Matt...
this is not 'multiDev'...
you are an abused IT-Techy.
a Dev talks abt git, never backups.
Devs dont know what On-Prem, EC2 or Network means...
they never touch anything MS, like AD or Exchange.
You definately talking gibberish when you talk hardware or "installing..."
This comment made me register for this community. It absolutly made my day ! Haha !
None of the above really. I usually feel like more of a code artist-scientist. I care little for productivity or creating useful software, preferring instead to focus more on the code itself, and developing a deep understanding of languages through unorthodox, fun experimentation.
Paid work is a beneficial sideline 😉
:D I care little for productivity or creating userful software :D
mix of tech hater and introvert, haha
I'm consider myself a somewhat lazy jack of all trades, while mastering a few of them. I can do everything from design and architecture, to development and finally deployment and automation.. but I spend half of the sprint just playing video games, attending one meeting a day, and then completing all my goals in a few days. Simply because there are times when it's just so boring to do the same things over and over. Or a simple thing with an overly complex tech stack.
Hi, am new to programming but am enjoying the learning process.. could we connect maybe on LinkedIn or email? In other words, could you please be my mentor and guide in this rapidly evolving industry? My GitHub handle is IamKaki and email is rizkarize@gmail.com
add me on LinkedIN
Whats going on Kaki?!!!
Begin with python and be careful with javascript and sons
Idk I’d say Python vs JS is like Lamborghini vs Toyota. I’d learn to drive on a Toyota, even if some of the features don’t do what you expect coming from C. Python is beautiful but it’s not obvious what’s going on under the hood without experience.
I gote it. buuuuuuuuttttt
node, reactJS or even VueJS explore several ways to get code run can be nightmare for a beginer. To scape a sphere's pain go from zero to javascript
calling a Python a Lamborghini is pretty ironic considering how slow it is because of this. I just made a post about it
dev.to/andreyscott/why-is-python-s...
Lol true. I wasn’t referring to speed tho, in case that wasn’t clear. As a second language coming from a highly structured or typed bg it can be confusing. As a first language to understand the basics of programming it’s more readable. I love this debate.
To any beginners out there please understand programming languages come down to preference and what fields you plan to go into. All languages were created by a human that didn’t want to write in ones and zeros and are an abstraction.
I personally wouldn’t have chosen Python as a first language bc of the limited fields it was used in but that’s changed.
This was a really fun post to read! Had a good chuckle as it’s so accurate. I’ll definitely say I’m the DevOps guy haha
Maybe me too!
Oh no, I’m a tech hater.
Oh well.
same here
I’m either the Fullstack Developer (closest I could get, but what about Frontend Developer?), or the Introvert.
Maybe I will make a part 2
This was a really fun post to read😅😅😅
I sadly think I've graduated from 10x Developer to The Ancient Coder. Damn.
Maximum respect 👏🏽
A nice and fun article 😅😅😅, I think I am just the normal dude.
funny and educative post
I think Im DevOPS...
kickass troubleshooter... 2 wks to complete a weather app :)
but I spot the bugs in your code in 20s
So Hilarious! 😂
Thanks, friend
I am just a wannabe.
Most of us are
You forgot the "programmer" who basically copy/pastes everything, refuses to work as part of the team, "knows" more than everyone else, and writes the most inefficient code while being an "Alpha Male."
I've known some Imposter Syndrome devs who could talk the talk but then spent all day playing games, reading the news, or hovering over another dev to "help them." Except they never knew how to code anything, so they were always missing deadlines, full of excuses, and always the senior dev "helping" them that ended up doing their work. Super frustrating. They are usually short-lived.