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Letting it all hang out

This is repost of a blog I wrote here!

Putting yourself out there.

This week I launched my own personal site dedicated to showing off my work and be a test bench for new techniques. I have been working on this for the better part of 2ish months and I finally felt ready current bugs and all... to show off to the world. I am no stranger to putting out content in one form or another but always as a side thing like music or video games, this was a whole new ball game because it is directly linked to what I hope in the not so distant future is my career.

I would be lying if I said I was not nervous over this but at first I could not place why and I just chalked it up to simple new project nerves. Now that I have had time to sit in this feeling I realized that up until this point I have not had anything forward facing announcing my work at becoming a developer. I have been on this path relatively in the dark, with the launching of this site along with finally.. getting my social presence in order that abruptly changed.

It all became real.

For those that did not know as of this post id say we are at about the 10 month mark since I wrote my first line of code ever. Launching that site is the culmination of those 10 months and the hard work that has gone into it. Launching the site is me fully committing all the practice rounds are over it's time to perform and that realization is what made me more nervous than anything, because with that leap comes the possibility of total failure. Now I am not all doom and gloom I actually have a supreme confidence in my ability to see this through but acknowledging those downsides is what fuels that next step and the one after that.

All this rambling is to say I had a simple choice, either let fear of failure break me or let it be the fuel that pushes me forward. Both choices are neither right nor wrong, fear is the bodies way to get you to pay better attention. Fear can be harnessed like any other emotion to boil things down to what really is important to yourself. To me the fear of regret for not trying to see this through is a harder pill to swallow than the fear of financial hardship.

I will leave yall with this, I've been reading Dune again and the movie was dope for a part 1.. but the "Litany Against Fear" sums this all up nicely..

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” -Frank Herbert, Dune

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