I've been an office employee for over 7 years, I was employed on my first ever job and being in office, I was thought that leaving yourself idle even for just minutes is bad, boss always have to look at employees if they are working in front of the computer, being a programmer in the office, if you're not busy on your computer 8 hours a day you're not being efficient. Because of this, I had to shut down the world around me and make music my fuel for coding. This was me for over 7 years, time in and time out is one of the most stressful things every weekdays, commuting is just pure pain for me as I'm not a morning person and I have a hard time waking up in the morning even as a child. There are times when I have stress at home that I just can't leave at home making me feel grumpy and make bad vibes ooze out of me.
Last year I went fulltime working from home, and it feels a lot lighter for me, I can take breaks when I feel stuck and it's so mind-blowing, all along, when I feel stuck I stress about it as I had to fiddle on my computer because it feels like someone is always watching and just waiting to pounce, it gave me anxiety and my hair fell out, turned me into a stress-eater, when all I need is a break, stay away from the computer and think about the course of action I can make to solve problems, with this I'm still able to perform well and was more eager to focus and finish tasks. I'm actually very surprised that I'm able to scratch out things and start anew with better solutions rather than making ends meet with the current action I'm taking making everything look hacky, terrible and unclean.
With this I realize that I love working from home, I love it when it's more output-driven rather than fiddling in front of the computer when all you need is to step away from it and think without anyone judging.
Today I had some mental and emotional stress I just can't get out of, I also have a meeting I need to attend to, but I excused myself out of it today and just focused on working because with the mental and emotional stress I just can't function as a social person. Am I the only one like this? Is this entitlement? I actually feel a little guilty doing this... How do you cope up when you go through this?
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