I remember when I first met you, I was nobody. I didn’t even exist. At the time, I think I was dating PHP. She was good for me, but we never had that spark. When you walked into the room at that party in the East Village, I felt my heart drop. Yes, you were a little out there, a bit all over the map, but you were stunning; a beautiful mess that I couldn’t take my eyes off.
We got to chatting and we had a lot in common. We could both be spontaneous, and to our detriment, a little unpredictable. You could be a number, a string, or an object; it didn’t fucking matter. And it turned me on. After the party, you came back to my apartment for the night. I’ve never been with someone so flexible.
We’ve had our ups and downs. I guess lately, we’ve been fighting a lot. Sometimes I just don’t get your indecisiveness. Like that night at dinner when you suddenly changed into an array without warning. I was so angry, but I still loved you. And I know, I know - I’m not perfect either. Especially in the early days of our relationship when I thought class components were the future. But you stuck with me because you knew, like yourself, I was a free spirit. We embraced our chaos together.
Then I met someone else.
I didn’t mean to fall in love with TypeScript (TS), it just sort of happened.
Honestly, when I first met TS, I couldn’t stand her. We met at a party. I remember her repeatedly complaining about the exits at the bar not being up to code. I found her incredibly off-putting. She kept yelling at me about the exit situation, but the messages out of her mouth made little sense.
Here’s the thing, JS. I’ve been floating around aimlessly now for a while. My life is a bit of mess. I don’t really care about much anymore. Sometimes I pass props into components and I don’t even use them because nobody checks anyways. I don’t even bother removing console logs anymore. I’m not blaming you. But sometimes I think our being together only exacerbated the problem for us both. I needed someone more stable. Someone with a plan.
I have to get this off my chest. Yes, I was with TS at the end of our relationship. After that party, I went back to her place. I don’t really know why. She was such a know-it-all. But nothing really happened. We just held hands, that's all. The rest of the time she asked me about my goals in life and if I wanted children. We talked about our families. She went to private school on the East Coast and her father is in banking. They’re Duke fans.
Things are good now with TS. She makes me a better man. But, and I have to be honest here, I still think about you. TS never wants to experiment or try new things. If we don’t go to our favorite Italian place on Friday nights, she loses her mind. I think she has OCD. She’s not… you. Sometimes when I’m with her, I think about you. I know that’s wrong, but, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still love you.
So for what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.
Anyway, next month I’ll be in your neck of the woods. If you’re not busy, maybe we can catch up and grab a drink?