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Daniel Warren
Daniel Warren

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Dear JavaScript, I Hope this Email Finds You Well...

Dear JavaScript,

I hope this email finds you well. I feel like I owe you an explanation about what went down between us a few months ago. Everything happened so fast and now that the dust has settled, I’ve had a chance to look back and unpack a lot of the emotions involved. At the very least, I owe you an apology. So, JavaScript (JS), I’m sorry.

I remember when I first met you, I was nobody. I didn’t even exist. At the time, I think I was dating PHP. She was good for me, but we never had that spark. When you walked into the room at that party in the East Village, I felt my heart drop. Yes, you were a little out there, a bit all over the map, but you were stunning; a beautiful mess that I couldn’t take my eyes off.

We got to chatting and we had a lot in common. We could both be spontaneous, and to our detriment, a little unpredictable. You could be a number, a string, or an object; it didn’t fucking matter. And it turned me on. After the party, you came back to my apartment for the night. I’ve never been with someone so flexible.

We’ve had our ups and downs. I guess lately, we’ve been fighting a lot. Sometimes I just don’t get your indecisiveness. Like that night at dinner when you suddenly changed into an array without warning. I was so angry, but I still loved you. And I know, I know - I’m not perfect either. Especially in the early days of our relationship when I thought class components were the future. But you stuck with me because you knew, like yourself, I was a free spirit. We embraced our chaos together.

Then I met someone else.

I didn’t mean to fall in love with TypeScript (TS), it just sort of happened.

Honestly, when I first met TS, I couldn’t stand her. We met at a party. I remember her repeatedly complaining about the exits at the bar not being up to code. I found her incredibly off-putting. She kept yelling at me about the exit situation, but the messages out of her mouth made little sense.

Here’s the thing, JS. I’ve been floating around aimlessly now for a while. My life is a bit of mess. I don’t really care about much anymore. Sometimes I pass props into components and I don’t even use them because nobody checks anyways. I don’t even bother removing console logs anymore. I’m not blaming you. But sometimes I think our being together only exacerbated the problem for us both. I needed someone more stable. Someone with a plan.

I have to get this off my chest. Yes, I was with TS at the end of our relationship. After that party, I went back to her place. I don’t really know why. She was such a know-it-all. But nothing really happened. We just held hands, that's all. The rest of the time she asked me about my goals in life and if I wanted children. We talked about our families. She went to private school on the East Coast and her father is in banking. They’re Duke fans.

Things are good now with TS. She makes me a better man. But, and I have to be honest here, I still think about you. TS never wants to experiment or try new things. If we don’t go to our favorite Italian place on Friday nights, she loses her mind. I think she has OCD. She’s not… you. Sometimes when I’m with her, I think about you. I know that’s wrong, but, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still love you.

So for what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.

Anyway, next month I’ll be in your neck of the woods. If you’re not busy, maybe we can catch up and grab a drink?



Yours truly,

React

Discussion (20)

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valeriavg profile image
Valeria

It was fun to read 😜
Yet I'd disagree that TypeScript is a separate entity from JavaScript. More like an Ironman suit, but without Jarvis. It sure protects you from the weather and occasional rockets, but clunky as hell.

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jonrandy profile image
Jon Randy • Edited on

Some might say you're just shallow and don't take the time to understand JS, and have just been seduced by the make-up TS puts on before she goes out - not realising she's really the same underneath.

It's better to accept people for what they are - much better than being in an over-complicated relationship with someone who takes forever to get ready.

I've heard similar stories from guys who broke up with JS because she refused to be moulded into the image of their former loves back in Stricttypeland, who they were completely obsessed with and couldn't get over.

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warrend profile image
Daniel Warren Author

And the great irony is TS gets compiled back down into JS. I agree, actually. I tend to avoid TS on personal projects.

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jj profile image
Juan Julián Merelo Guervós

So you can say that typescript is more your type, right?
🥁

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liviufromendtest profile image
Liviu Lupei

This is cute.

But there are devs out there who are emotionally attached to JS and want to do everything in JS, and that makes web development a bit more awful each day.

No one should get emotionally attached to any language.

Python is my fav, but I don't try to do everything in Python.

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dev_emmy profile image
nshimiye_emmy

hhhhhhhh, what a creative article this is about JS and TS.

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blessingartcreator profile image
Blessing Hirwa

This made my day 🤣🤣

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rarbefaeli profile image
Bar Refaeli

beautiful post

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xinusys profile image
XinuSys

Lol! There sure is a lot to unpack! So many devs be shifting to Typescript and to React!

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aileenr profile image
Aileen Rae

Thanks for the laugh 😂

I love the maintainability value of TS on larger projects with multiple collaborators, but me, I'll always think of JS first in my own work.

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mrodriguez501 profile image
Manuel Rodriguez

This was hilarious

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longblade profile image
John Doe • Edited on

I really enjoyed this letter 💌! It was fun to read 😀! I can relate.. 🤣

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nirvghla profile image
Nir

Lol 😀It was fun... js humor we can relate. I've also tried sharing my emotions on similar line few days back.... dev.to/nirvghla/angular-and-react-...

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mrdulin profile image
official_dulin

This is a good template.

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akashkava profile image
Akash Kava

I think you need to see TypeScript without makeup, you will be heartbroken to see it just plain JavaScript underneath (Generated Code).

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linccodes profile image
Linc Codes

A beautiful love letter ❤️🥺

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tbaveja profile image
tbaveja

Awesome and good luck React 😅

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p3ntest profile image
Julius (P3ntest)

Hahaha good one 😂

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zuri profile image
Zuri Kiser Barnes

Duke fans! LMAO

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warrend profile image
Daniel Warren Author

Glad somebody got this joke, haha!