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Discussion on: How does it feel to be a junior developer

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uegnet profile image
uegnet

What if after 8 months you still feel much of this? And it’s more like “It’s been so hard, and I’m not really enjoying it"? After 6 months you had a panic attack so bad you where almost committed to an emergency room at a mental hospital, and the depression and anxiety still lingers after 2 months .. is this field of work not for you?

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jenbutondevto profile image
Jen

Hey! I'm sorry to hear this too. I went through something similar. I was working two dev jobs for a year, about 4 days as a swift paid internship, and 3 days as a web dev. I was employed as the web dev first, and quite frankly, I didn't enjoy it. I was slow at tickets and would give me any excuse to not do them. It actually meant that I had to work late to get the tickets done. The overwork and stress was a trigger to my severe depression, if anything, one of the major factors. I did have to have therapy which is finished now but I am still on medication.

When I was in the office as a swift intern, the work was great, I really enjoyed the language and company culture. The CTO was understanding as were the rest of the team, generally great people. I've moved on from both places and now a jr fullstack dev where I'm still happy.

Please don't doubt your skills as a dev too much, especially if it's making you sick, you were hired for a reason. And don't overwork yourself! Please also reach out if you're having a tough time. Take care! I hope you feel better soon :)

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stefannibrasil profile image
Stefanni Brasil

Hi!
So sorry to hear about this. I think that when that happens, it's better to talk with other people who can really help you. I have anxiety and I know how that feels, but I am getting better since I started therapy last year. Please, take care. Let me know if I can help with anything else. Trust me, I know that feeling but you don't have to go through that all by yourself.

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uegnet profile image
uegnet

Thanks, yeah .. starting therapy soon, and I'm lucky that everybody at work have been great about the whole thing.

Just so scared that I won't be up for it. Especially since it has taken me almost 10 years to get back up from some other bad stuff, quitting my first passion education because of chronic tinnitus, aborting the first CS degree attempt because of cancer etc... you know, just to crash again.

But yeah, let's hope the therapy helps, good to hear it has helped you :)

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stefannibrasil profile image
Stefanni Brasil

that's great that people at your work are supportive! I am sure you'll figure it out, you've been through a lot, you're strong. If you need to talk more feel free to reach me. I know how talking helps. Take care :)