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Discussion on: Could you explain #likeimfive the meaning of these programming languages as humans?

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tux0r profile image
tux0r
  • Java: A language which is moving zombie variables/objects to an automatic trashing process ("Garbage Collector").
  • C#: A very Microsoft-centric language, running on the .net framework.
  • Python: Divided into the very different versions Python 2 and 3 which are incompatible in many ways.
  • JavaScript: Known for having many developers add dozens of third-party libraries instead of writing actual code with moving standards (ES7 being the newest one) and the Microsoft browser(s) being the bottleneck.
  • Swift: Made from various other languages which don't fit together that well.
  • PHP: ?
  • C++: Known for null pointers (which will inevitably crash your application).
  • C: Haha, only old weirdos use C, hahaha. (And I do, obviously.)
  • Assembly: You'll have to put together your own "human" ("application") from the very basics, here pictured as the DNA.
  • Brainfuck (censored for unknown, probably ridiculous reasons): Just look at a code example to understand the picture.
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nebojsac profile image
Nick Cinger

All great! Just wanted to add to PHP since I do PHP :o)

PHP - balancing upside-down near a ledge - doing crazy risky rhings for no apparent reason. Alluding to the meme of PHP being inherently more insecure than the rest.

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Casey Brooks

A little more light on PHP: The guy is standing on the symbol for a database while wearing an Apache feather, a nod towards the LAMP stack (Linux OS, Apache web server, MySQL database, PHP code).

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juliatorrejon profile image
Julia Torrejón • Edited

Thanks, that is really useful!

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ld00d profile image
Brian Lampe

Mostly agree, but like to add...

  • Java: they're claiming that Java's a zombie -- i.e. it's a dead language that won't die (wholeheartedly disagree).
  • C#: this guy is living on an MS island where everything is some MS product and why would you use anything that's not MS's?
  • JavaScript: IE/Edge is holding us back from progress.
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piotrpalek profile image
Peter

I'd agree with IE but Edge is pretty cool with regards to new language features.

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maxart2501 profile image
Massimo Artizzu

Eh, somewhat.
I still don't understand what's holding them to implement Web components like the other browsers (note: this is not directly related to JavaScript, but rather to the web platform).

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Andrew Tanner 🇪🇺

TO be fair to IE11, it's alright. It obviously doesn't support bleeding edge but at least you can reliably test and polyfill for it.

Edge should be much better and it pains me to still find bugs in Edge that I also find in IE11. So much for a complete new browser...

Safari is the real heap of crap these days - both mobile and desktop.

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danielescoz profile image
Daniel Escoz

ES7 is two years old now...

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david_j_eddy profile image
David J Eddy

PHP - balancing upside-down near a ledge - doing crazy risky things for no apparent reason. Alluding to the meme of PHP being inherently more insecure than the rest.

  • Feather: Apache web server, PHP is used with Apache... A LOT.
  • Database slices: PHP mysqli has been insecure, and in production, for over 15 years.
  • Balancing on a cliff: 'cause YOLO