Discussion on: Being disrespected 🤬 / ignored 😶 in an IT job. What do you do?

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Sébastien Vercammen

Move past it or drown in it.

My path is self-taught > freelance > college > own business (product dev + freelance consulting) > university > hit €16k/mo in passive income w/ own product > continue mix of product dev & consulting.

I started coding at 9, I'm 28 now. Always had at least one person complain or gatekeep. Still have that today.

It won't end, because the problem isn't that you lack any capacities.

The problem is emotional and political.

Even if you'd be a renowned personal consultant of world leaders with great success, people who disagree with their politics enough will bend the truth to convince themselves that you can't possibly be any good. To do so would be to admit that their (self-invented) "opponent" can be right and make good decisions, which goes against black/white "us vs them" thinking.

That's politics.

The same happens on an emotional level with their personal beliefs: Admitting your skills are good starts with admitting that you grew faster in your field than they did at that age. They might fear they missed out, or were "slower". They make the mistake of thinking lives need to be compared.

One of the best devs I've ever met was a 13-year old that I met when I was 16. We're no longer in touch, but I'm sure his life wasn't easy. It already wasn't at 13.

My advice: C'est la vie. Move away from those who pull you down, move towards those who support you unconditionally.

You can't prevent others making mistakes, but that doesn't mean you have to make one by staying in an environment that holds you back.

(Unconditionally is a key word. If it's conditional, they won't allow unrestrained personal development.)