The other day I was talking to one of my teachers at the bootcamp I'm doing right now and we were at the topic of bringing the A game and what will happen after the bootcamp.
It came to my attention that I do not have any true expectations after the course is over, you know just casually hoping I'll be able to find a job but whatever happens, happens. This is pretty crazy from my part I think, I discovered I've lost motivation slowly, falling into the comfort zone.
This is probably the first time in my life I am in this place, finally feeling some peace of mind, trusting in what I do at my job, money is not great but it works for my current lifestyle. So, yes, the comfort zone is nice.
After thinking about this so much and trying to reach a conclusion, it hit me on the face, I'm scared. I'm scared that I will not succeed, that I won't be able to be a provider, that I will disappoint people at my current job because they need me, IM SCARED that I don't have a safe to catch me if I fall anymore, I'm on my own with responsibilities that only I can take care of.
Let's Be Real
I must say, society puts so much pressure on each individual, even if we don't realize it. Truly unbelievable, mostly because we live to pay for things that maybe at the end of the day are not a necessity but they become these comfort things that we do not want to loose, they help us soften the actual circumstances.
It may be hard to explain but, think of this, if all the money you made was put towards things that made your life better but aren't the things that you want, for example, investments, education, insurance, fixing your car/house, whatever you make it. These are things that in the long run will make your life better but it's not as cool as getting a new tv, going out to eat or buying video games.
So now here I am... Trying to gather the strength and motivation to be better, to beat my fears and concerns. To make the leap of faith, for sure this will take me a while to prepare for but at the end of the day, if we don't follow our dreams, what are we? Just some pieces of meat getting by? I don't know. I'm real tired of just getting by and fell into a comfy spot, now I got to get out.
Truly dang lol. This is a lot of inner fighting and reflecting, maybe to some it comes easier to see, to me, it's hard sometimes to really know what is happening deep inside my head.
Sum It Up
To you out there, if you got this far.
You got this, take your time but not too much lol, opportunities come once and you have to hop on the train, sometimes not being ready better even, most of the times not being ready but that's the magic, once you get through and look back. Man, you would be so proud of yourself.
I believe it is worth taking a shot, if you fail, you fail, try again. Trust me, coming from a control and calculating freak like me, I've done it before and got beyond my imagination. Now once again I am summoned to adventure. Well, here I go.