This is a gross and horrible little API that works. You can run it on your machine pretty easily.
You're not allowed to judge me because I'm not an engineer and I never claimed to be one. 😬😄
I'm just hacking around to up my game. I'm gonna keep hacking away to make this better, clean up some of the horror, and maybe eventually host on Heroku, but for now, "Look, Mom! No hands!"