"But in our eagerness to create "women in tech" spaces, so many people have decided that if you're not a man, then you're a woman. And all women share some fundamental experiences, the same suffering. And if you're ever had those experiences, then you're pretty much a woman. If you've ever suffered for being "not a man", then you're a woman, right?"
BOY DO I EVER FEEL THIS. Honestly in some ways -- I'd strongly prefer to be in LGBTQ tech spaces, but if not that, women (and non-binary, but let's all be honest: they're for women) in tech events often feel more hostile than general tech events.
Agreed. I've been to several women in tech spaces that have a veneer of inclusivity, but will treat the audience as if it's entirely composed of white women. This will lead to things like the organizers instructing the room on how to respond if "you" accidentally use a racial slur, or "you" misgender someone, as if the people who are harmed by these actions are outside the room. The women in tech space can have a very "just between us girls," feel to it that feels very middle-school-cliquey, with in groups and out groups, and I'm just not here for that.
I'm not a woman as in "yes she can!" I'm nonbinary as in "can you just let them get back to work?" There's a big difference there.
I have no idea how much sense this even makes. I just have a lot of feels today on top of a very long week.
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