People have strong opinions. Some people are more passionate than others in their values and beliefs, but everyone has them. Making rational decisions where the emotion is strong is hard, overlooking the facts that don’t agree with our values is very often the default mode.
The scientific term for this behavior is Confirmation Bias. A tendency to favor or look for information that supports one’s personal belief, a very common cognitive bias.
Take the example of Ed. He is a person with low self-esteem.
Any person who sends a text and doesn’t get a reply thinks the other party must be busy. In this situation, Ed thinks that the other person doesn’t like him and chose to not reply.
He is biased towards thinking bad about himself and will believe the occurrence or a piece of information that supports his existing belief. For Ed, neglect is the obvious conclusion where ignorance seems apparent.
The same behavior goes to show why eyewitnesses are considered unreliable. The Innocence Project researchers have reported that 73% of the 239 convictions overturned through DNA testing were based on eyewitness testimony, source.
A neighbor who doesn’t care for dogs and thinks dogs are dangerous sees a vicious dog attack an innocent child. A bystander who loves dogs sees the dog defending itself against a menacing child. Neither eyewitness account is reliable due to confirmation bias.
So, what to do?
The first thing is to address that you may have confirmation bias where you have strong opinions.
Be careful and educate yourself when making your mind about things in those areas.
Go out into the world, discuss your thoughts with others. Surround yourself with a diverse group of people, and don’t be afraid to listen to dissenting views.Challenge yourself with disagreements and fruitful dialogs.
The true sake of an argument is to educate everyone involved in it.
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