I'll keep this brief because we all have a life to do.
In short, my personal operating system went for a very long time without an upgrade, refactor, etc. This is what I did.
As we all know, 3rd party libraries are always getting updated, requirements change, methods are tweaked. If you don't upgrade your personal operating system problems present themselves. This is what we call "technical debt". For example, you are no longer holding yourself accountable for your mistakes and in fact become defensive if someone suggests you make them in the first place. Yes, I know this is vague; but, I don't want to bore you with the details.
knowing that you need to "be the lion and not the dog" is great, but knowing what in your operating system is keeping you from being the lion is better. This is because your personal OS was coded for a good reason. So, I figured this out after a lot of reflection and help from other people.
If you don't already know this I think you can see how refactoring you is a good idea. The trick is .. how? This is where I have to admit that I don't know how to fix your operating system, but I can point you in the right direction. These are the first steps that I took:
- Look on YouTube for posts that "speak to you" about deep emotional problems you feel in my heart. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence just to notice your problems, but a good place to start is to ask the question "What makes me uncomfortable?"
- Get curious. When you get upset, step back and ask yourself why? There's always a good reason and if you're like me you just want to pretend it never happened and move on. That won't work. It's time to do a code review.
- When you're coding you will find cruft. Sometimes you leave it alone because there is no time or someone has told you to focus. Well; eventually, this cruft will break you. It might not happen today, it might not happen for years, you might go your whole life carrying this bad code; but, if you fix it there will be a bright light at the end of the tunnel I promise.
- The body never forgets. If you have trauma, your body will keep it locked up inside. For me, it was a tight, tense tummy, GI issues, etc. Also, the whole left side of my body wanted to be tense .. all the time. For you it could be shoulders or headaches. Could be a lot of things.
- Journalling can help. You're creating a dialog with yourself and getting better all on your own.