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CJ Horton
CJ Horton

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Poetry for Developers

With apologies to Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, and Edgar Allen Poe.

Because I could not stop for Tests

Because I could not stop for Tests –
They kindly stopped for me –
The Console held but just “Build failed” –
And failure Messages three.

I fixed the first – a Feature, broken
By a clever turn of Code –
I fixed the second, a Syntax error,
I fixed the third – oh no –

Since then – ’tis Centuries – and yet
One stubborn Test I see
I must surmise this Testing suite
Tests but my urgency

The Merge Conflict Not Taken

Two files diverged in a Git repo,
And sorry I could not include both
And have one project, long I stood
And thought through one as far I could,
To where it fell victim to JS growth;
Then picked the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Since it used ES6 syntax, writ with care.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how change leads on to change,
I doubted if I should return to this git stash.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
In some blog post ages hence:
Two files diverged in a repo, and I–
I took the one more modernized,
And that has made all the difference.

The Slackbot


Accidentally Setting a Slack Reminder for Midnight Instead of Noon

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious file of outdated code –
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of a Slack notification happening, happening on my laptop screen,
“’Tis some @here ,” I muttered, “happening on my laptop screen –
Only this and nothing more.”

Back into the code returning, blinking dry eyes to stop the burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping just the same as came before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that’s a general notification;
Let me see, then, what it is, and this mystery explore –
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; –
’Tis a general notification, and nothing more!”

Open then! I pulled up Slack, and then, with much alas, alack,
I saw a new DM awaiting - “It’s midnight, for God’s sake!”, I swore.
A server failure? A botnet attack? I closed my eyes and clicked it fast,
I read the message, blinked, and laughed; and felt relief set in at last,
For on the screen was naught but a reminder that I’d set that morn:
Quoth the Slackbot, “Nevermore.”

Crossposted from Medium.

Top comments (8)

paco_hojaverde profile image
Gregory Greenleaf

Most excellent, Binary Bard!

walker profile image
Walker Harrison • Edited

i have ignored
the issues
that were in
the icebox

ben profile image
Ben Halpern


xiaohuoni profile image


panfri787 profile image
Pablo Verdú Romero


jess profile image
Jess Lee


juiiocesar profile image
Julio Guzman

Beautiful! Thank you for this amazing reading CJ Horton