A few days ago my roommate just moved back to their province and I'm the only one left now. I'm used to living alone but not in this kind of situation where I'm limited on things that I can do like going outside to unwind or go to the mall, eat in a restaurant, see some of my friend, play outdoor sports.
Lately I find my self having hard time going to sleep at night, I'm having panic attacks which I didn't experienced before, worrying about things, getting sick and hard to focus at work. I'm worried that this can affect my performance in my current job.
Any advice on how to cope up in this kind of situation? Thank you keep safe and God Bless!
Top comments (41)
Well, these are some things that I do:
make sure your space feels like your own! and I mean in the sense that you should feel comfy and happy being in this space. Ex: change the layout of your furniture, add pictures, posters, make sure it's a bit tidy (I know it's a pain but it helps!!), make it smell nice, add plants, etc.
control what you consume. Opinions, twitter threads, the news, videos on youtube. Try to go for learning and not entertainment. Also, sensationalism is on the rise and news outlets have agendas. Make sure you're not falling for their traps :3
have hobbies outside of programming. While yeah programming is fun, you need your brain to do other things! It needs to cool down and what better way than having a hobby completely different from development. For example music, arts, gardening, cooking, writing, reading, etc.
exercise! this will tire you out and help you sleep better (I suffer from some sort of insomnia as well, it's terrible :c). If you have a Nintendo Switch I highly recommend getting the ringfit, it's pretty cool and fun :D
call family or friends. Just because we're stuck at home doesn't mean we can't socialize a bit, if you can, try to call your loved ones just to check up on them, it's refreshing c:
plan your week/journaling. I know you may not be moving about in your place, but I highly suggest sitting down, think about the stuff you want to do during the week (side projects, goals, payments, that stuff), and set days for when you want to do them. Also, try to write down interesting things that happened to you during the day. You can look back upon them later to remind yourself of how you were doing or what you were focusing on :3
sit in the morning and just write down everything you feel. This one I stole from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. She says to do it every day of your life but I did it for a few months and my golly did it help. As soon as you wake up, write down everything, EVERYTHING, doesn't matter how dumb, stupid, or whatever it is, for max 3 pages. I honestly did what I could, sometimes it would be half a page, other times it would be 4 or 5 pages. Let it go. Make sure that journal is private :3
it's okay to chill for a day or a week! Totally depends on your mood. Sometimes we need to rest, so just, after work, don't stress out about anything.
I hope this little essay can give you some ideas! Good luck :3
Thank you so much for your really awesome advice. Gob Bless :D
+0.01 cent
Go get new friends, experiences, by keeping open to know new people. Small Talks are always good to show a little from you.
Invite ppl to go a common places in town.
Go outside, travel, even alone.
No.1 thing I would say is get outside as much as possible (based on restrictions where you are).
Do physical stuff - build things with your hands, exercise, go for long walks.
Don't be too hard on yourself. This is a weird time for everyone. If productivity dips a bit, it doesn't matter. This too shall pass.
I feel you. I was in a similar situation. I used to live with my sister but she moved back to the province right before this whole situation happened. And even though I'm used to working remotely, I was always able to work in a cafe, meet with friends, or do whatever before all of this happened. So the recent events just made me feel stuck and anxious. So this is my advice (or well, this is what works for me)
All my advice sounds so... theoretical. So here's a practical tip. Try focusmate.com/ you can get a virtual co-working buddy and it's kinda nice to work with someone sometimes. :)
Thanks you so much. God Bless :D
Really nice,
Thank you
This is your most valuable time. You're not alone, so don't feel alone. Take time to enjoy stuff around you, let the universe exprience itself through your eyes, hands, thoughts.
Go to the 25th hour maybe?
OK, got me...
What is the "25th hour maybe?"
You take a cup of something you like to drink, go outside.
Then you stop, find somewhere away from the crowd but still sees it. You sit and start the watch all the fuss from there. Life becomes a movie alike scene at that time, you suddenly start to enjoy seeing those lost-in-future people.
that's 25th hour everyone
Thank you so much, now I feel a lot better. :D
Depending on your personality, living alone can be a blessing. But we humans sometimes yearn for a human touch, so these are things that helped me:
You cannot go outside at all or don't want to? If you can go outside, even alone is fine. I also used to have lots of Yahoo messenger calls and chats to feel that I'm not alone (back in the day when Yahoo was still a thing). Now you have zoom, team, slack, discord, and so many more options.
I'm able to go outside but having this thought in me that when I go outside I can get infected is what stopping me. Your totally right I should do more of video chatting my friends and family and pick up new hobby. Thank you! :D
The things I do like everyday:
to the point of exercise, there is a lot of research suggesting that depression can be lessend by exercise (mostly running, but other cardio trainings help, too). For seditary workplaces (especially at home where you don't bother anyone), you could try these mini stationary bikes that go under your desk.
Duuude...
I know that your viewpoint is the cool way of pop culture but I have to strongly disagree.
Fight with people? In a time when social connections are strained and people are physically distant Alienate the people around you? Make all your friends mad and hate you?
Do Exercise, YES everyday on schedule if you have to.
Video games for the most part are Para-social. They (for the most part) tend to cut you off from necessary and uplifting human interaction.
[and 5] Take breaks, Yes. Be easy on yourself. Don't fall for 'negative thought traps.'
BUT if you are talking about sitting around the house and doing nothing versus setting a daily realistic goal, get something done and feel a sense of accomplishment, I say feel some accomplishment.
Ma friend, you are waaaaaay too misguided, is not pop culture, is my way of cope with the problems the OP mentioned, is not the cool way, is the lazy way, the path of the procrastinator, the path of the chaos if you add the point number one. That's why I said is something I DO, but as the fight has started read my answers is funny or at least to me :v
Answer to your point number one, fight with PEOPLE the keyword is PEOPLE, I never said fight with your friends or family in what part of my answer I said fight with your family or friends and feel good about that and the other keyword in that sentence is CHAOS yes, or as we like to know, thanks Batman for this, "Some men just want to see the world burn". If you think I like to fight with my family you are pretty much right, they hate me? Maybe yes, but I don't care :v
Answer to your point number three, he ask how you deal with anxiety, depression and stress, where in all the holy post is said about human interaction, as I know cause I am someone with anxiety, depression and stress, people or human interaction as you said is a no no for me, people is just stressful as to go to a meeting that easily can be a email, depression is nothing about uplifting my friend, depression is way too deeper than shallow human interaction, depression needs meds or a good psychologist or both, if your anxiety is chronic well, you need meds and something to cope, and no, people is not the number one method to cope with anxiety. You need to put your brain to work in something different because work is killing you with all the three. Videogames helps cause you use other parts of your brain and playing make you feel something were accomplished even if is not real a lot of games has social interaction normally the mmorpg, WoW is an example.
Answer to your point number four, take a break goes to just sit in your front porch, or wherever you like and see the horizon or the people walking or even a bird jumping from branch to branch, you don't need to accomplish nothing, you just need a break, just laid back and breath, just that, people tend to say you need to accomplish something in the day or you fail the day, to me accomplishment is know that I work as hard as I could, I don't eat candies cause I need to lose weight but hey if you couldn't do it, is alright too. You need to go to your own pace, you are not running against anybody, just you and your life, ma friend is ok if you need to feel you accomplished something is good.
You need to rest heck even doing exercise the people said rest is more important than reps, muscles are a combination of rest, food and workout, and as someone with a goal in lose weight I learned that I need to do 45 min tops of working out 4 days and 8 hours of sleep and rest three days, so rest is a kind of accomplishment.
My daily realistic goal is eat your meals, do fasting, do exercise, work if you feel you want to do it, or at least try if after 5 min you don't want to just go with the flow and last but not least smile and laugh if by the night I accomplish at least two of these well the day was good is little victories, baby steps or as Creed taught me One step at a time. One punch at a time. One round at a time, but I like my modified version that says, One step at a time, One day at a time, One goal at a time, made sense? Maybe not, but works for ME.
So after that letter for you point number four, I can resume that answer as "Do nothing is doing something".
Thanks for reading.
jizavala,
Your right, every fam is different, every person is different and to that I say,
Thanks so much, yeah I've been a bit hard on my self lately, not having much of break at work and worrying about deadlines. The last one sounds like fun I'll try to do that :D
Glad it helps you, worrying about deadlines is our default, but even the deadlines can be changed unless is a life death situation, but in this part maybe you need to talk with your manager or if you are freelancing maybe make a more relaxed planification with more days to reach your goals.
Or maybe you can use a journal it helps a lot mostly with the noise in your brain caused by trio of the dead brain :v
regards.
I was feeling the same way. Then I realized that now I have the time to do all the things I always wanted to do but didn't have the time. I have finished recently 5 online courses from Coursera and I am taking other 5 courses right now. It feels great to expand your view of things I am taking courses on design and productivity and it is really interesting for me. Besides that something that has helped a lot is a Nintendo Switch game called Ring Fit it helps you to do exercise indoors and it works. I believe this is a good time to learn a new hobby, new language.
Another thing that I have seen is that some people does not know how to work from home put a schedule and don't work extra hours, in my case I try to work 7 hours at day and trying that worst case to be 8 hours.
Thank you that's a really nice advice, I'll try to look for something new to learn. I'm currently interested in learning other JS framework like React or Svelte.
When you say work is stressing you out, do you actually mean that its challenging? If maybe it's stress related to talking to people e.g. some kind of presentation or not feeling adequate then I'm sorry but it's all self inflicted and you need to work on yourself instead of blaming the workplace. If. The prior, you need to work on speaking publicly if the latter then you need to remember that they hired you, if you were inadequate you'd be fired. If none of these and its actual stress then it's probably a sign that is the wrong job or bad workplace. Work shouldn't be stressful.
In regards to the outside world's happenings, simply learn to give less of a fuck. Not giving a fuck is really quite invigorating.
Hahahaha that was really nice advice thank you. :D
I just moved to another city for a new job 3 months ago, I know no one, so sometimes can be hard but trying your best is the best options, here is a couple of things I like to do
(i had to build my own computer)((good fun))
I joined a meetup group, sometimes I go sometimes not, meeting international people it's fun, i'm a social person
I had a girlfriend the first month, It didn't work, I'm moving along
I just joined a climbing class last week
I stopped taking online class and stuff like that, now I'm just playing video games, listening music I feel the need to chill in a way
I bought a shitty bike and rebuilt it entirely (still shitty tho) but sometimes I take it and just visit the town (I take it to go to work too)
Some moments are really hard, the loneliness is hardcore but I try to enjoy being alone and find way to meet people, things will get better with time and good will :)
(sorry for my bad english it's not my native langage)
Thank you so much that was a really nice advice :D
Hi, I also feel the same too, but not exactly in the same situation. You could identify your feeling, and it's good because you are still aware with your condition. I don't think I am the right person to suggest you something because until now, I am still facing the anxiety, envy with someones lives, and have too much expectation in lives, and you must know in the internet, meditation is the effective way to beat this state of emotion. I do regularly meditation every morning now, and it affects me a little bit. Maybe, after several months practicing this, I could feel the difference significantly. Moreover, learn about Stoicsm is a good way too. The point is, mindfulness. I learnt some from these videos, hope they could help.
youtu.be/vzKryaN44ss
youtu.be/w6T02g5hnT4
youtu.be/R9OCA6UFE-0
Thank you so much for your advice! I'll try to meditate more, I've only tried in a few times and I can say meditation really helps me to clear my mind and help me to focus more after. Keep safe and God Bless :D
Very nice vids,
Thank you
I have had similar experience and here is what I think. It is a perfect time to explore the following.
This is probably the best time to truly explore and experience this beautiful world & the universe.
Thank you so much, youre definitely right this is now the best time to learn new things. Keep safe and God Bless.
I had really tough times with sleeping, waking up to my daily job, and kick-off my day as I usually did before all of the COVID-19 restrictions came along.
I'm their mate and there isn't an ultimatum magical solution to that.. but, since it's coming from inside "Mentally" and regardless of its because of the surrounding circumstances, it can be resolved from within.
Things I did, and that really makes me feel better on a daily bases:
I revise my plans -call it dreams-, I keep drawing the imagination for myself acing the job I wanna be doing; it boosts my mental health, my confidence, and my productivity.. it all depends on really going deep within your mind, bumping the feeling you want to feel out of this imaginary picture you're drawing of your future self. I usually do it last thing before going to bed.
I created a side-hustle to keep me busy, a side project that filled my time. Now I understand how hard it is to commit to a side-project, but, haven't you got a really crazy idea you have been waiting to do since you became a developer? it could be learning something new tho!
I started communicating moreover on social-media, I lived around 5 years on my own, I was totally lost back then and it was really hard for me to talk to anyone, even the best of my friends and especially through social media, but it seems to be a good workaround nowadays.
And.. man, most importantly is for you to know that this is a temporary circumstance, and start dealing with it as if it's a lifestyle that was granted to you in order for you to make something great out of it! <3
Thank you so much. Keep safe and God Bless :D
Running every day + cold showers + reading.
Star slow, and add volume by tiny "pieces"
+100m to run, +10sec to cold showers.
And read good books.
I don't know if it'll work for you, but give it a shot)))
Thank you so much. I'll try to do your advice. God Bless :D
Well... Sometimes if I feel very lonely I stop the job or the tasks I am doing, then I make a cup of coffee or any hot drink and start playing videogames or watching series.
The point here is that you must keep your mind distracted, do something you like and you enjoy
Hope my words make any help. Greetings
Thank you, I'll try to keep myself busy and do things I enjoy more. Keep safe and God Bless! :D
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