Growing up I was so Logical that I analyzed every gesture, word, action, decision, and situation from every person I found myself with or every place I found myself due to my melancholic nature. Omo! it was so bad that I did not make certain decisions, take necessary actions, or make important requests because I felt I already knew the outcomes of such situations with my analogy and It was going to turn out against my favor.
If you're like the excessively thinking me or you find yourself sometimes overthinking stuff without acting and your answer is yes to most (if not all) the questions below, then this article is specifically for you.
Do you ask questions like: What If I don't match up or I don't have what It takes? What if the reply to this request turns out to be a no?
Do you feel the need for 100% certainty before jumping into action?
Do you decline to apply for a job with a large number of applicants already
Analysis paralysis (or paralysis by analysis) describes an individual or group process when overanalyzing or overthinking a situation can cause forward motion or decision-making to become "paralyzed", meaning that no solution or course of action is decided upon. A situation may be deemed as too complicated and a decision is never made, due to the fear that a potentially larger problem may arise. A person may desire a perfect solution, but may fear making a decision that could result in error, while on the way to a better solution.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analysis_paralysis
You can ride above your Temperament and self-esteem
As described by Tim LaHaye in his famous book "Why you act the way you do", he classifies humans into four temperaments:
- The Sanguines
- The Cholerics
- The Melancholy
- The Phlegmatic
The first two being on the extroverted side and the latter two on the introverted side. Everyone has a blend of each of these temperaments, of which two are dominant and you will agree with me that temperaments have a major influence on all our actions.
Someone who is an Introvert has a lot of reserved time for thoughts and analogy, this could turn out to be both an advantage and a disadvantage. They often find themselves with the problem of overthinking before acting. Thinking or analysis in itself is not bad because they keep us from acting out of impulse or current emotions, but it turns to be detrimental when it is prefixed with the word "over", because then:
We seek perfection.
We draw conclusions and
We dread rejections
Sometimes you feel under-qualified for certain things. This reminds me of me when I got close to OJ (a beautiful lady during my undergraduate days), gosh! she was so beautiful and good looking I felt so lucky to be her friend. I wanted more (not just on a friendship base), I wanted a relationship, and guess what? you should know the answer by now. I had one job but I literally blew it up, all I needed to do was ask, instead, I found myself asking questions like, do you have what it takes to be in a relationship with her? could she be getting more attention from other guys? don't you think she likes you only as a friend?.
The good thing is you can ride above your temperament and self-esteem
Perfection is a Journey
If I had to understand everything about connecting people before I began, I never would have started Facebook.
~Mark Zuckerberg FOUNDER OF FACEBOOK
In this article Mark Zuckerberg: ‘The idea of a single eureka moment is a dangerous lie’ he the founder of Facebook stated that
It can be tempting to believe that change-makers whose work affects generations must be extraordinary prodigies; that each one has a remarkable “a-ha” moment when a brainstorm is suddenly transmuted into a single, brilliant idea, obvious in its genius.
I think now is the right time to remove such a mindset and give it a rethink.
For me, perfection is determined by your legacy and what you're remembered for. It is usually after you're dead and long gone that your work can be qualified as being 'perfect'.
Think of:
- The benefits of what you're about to initiate
- How many positive outcomes it brings about when it succeeds
- The people that will connect the dots and pick up from where you're likely going to stop.
Your conclusion should come only after the outcome of your action
Consciously and unconsciously our parents passed down the gene of playing it safe because it's the working prototype of life and anything other than that can turn out to be catastrophic.
In Africa when you deviate from the norm you're seen as strong-headed, ignorant, inexperienced, foolish.
An adage in my tribe (Igala, a tribe in Kogi state, north-central of Nigeria) goes this way "Akamagbo onwu chuku imoto" which literally translates to "Death comes to a child that does not hearken" talking based on their personal experiences with failure and how you should play it safe.
Unfortunately, this has been integrated into our societal cultures and is now the default amongst us, so we often draw conclusions before we even start.
Tony Cletus the head of Marketing at Happierco said something that struck home.
Why not give it a shot, you can always revert to the default
Leave the conclusion to be the Job of the outcome.
Rejections are Inevitable feedbacks you get in Life
What's the worst that can happen? you get a NO as a reply, the situation doesn't turn out as expected. Just so you know, this is normal in life.
Every now and then we celebrate successful people and their achievements but seldom talk about their processes, rejections, and failures. Elon Musk the CEO and founder of Tesla (electric cars), SpaceX (rocket technology), SolarCity ( energy services), amongst others is the top trend of celebration on his achievement as the World's richest man after surpassing Jeff Bezos (Amazon Boss) as of this writing.
Elon Musk Tweeted on his Twitter handle on his fair share of rejection along the way.
@wintonARK During the darkest days of the Model 3 program, I reached out to Tim Cook to discuss the possibility of Apple acquiring Tesla (for 1/10 of our current value). He refused to take the meeting.20:46 PM - 22 Dec 2020
The Feedback he got after rejected by apple IMO was there was no better person to achieve the Tesla dream than himself. Sometimes we're rejected based on wrong perceptions of us, other times rejections are feedback for growth. Either way after a short feeling of disappointment (this is normal due to our human nature), convert it to a growth process and challenge yourself to achieve more.
Rejections always happen, sometimes we anticipate it other times it takes us by surprise (This always hits harder). This can be an opportunity to take out time to:
- Cool off
- Reach out to supportive people
- Improve and
- Re-energise your self-esteem
Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
- Make that Proposal
- Apply For that Job
- Start that project
- Make that request and keep requesting
Further reading suggestion
What Are You Asking For?
Fvck Imposter Syndrome!
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