Debugging my career path after falling out with life
Image by Christina Morillo on Canva
When I was a kid, my dad sat me in front of a keyboard and taught me how to build something called a website in a place named GeoCities.
My first site was peak ’90s. I’m not sure the under-construction graphics ever came down. The only thing I constructed was an abomination of GIFs and clashing colors, but I enjoyed the freedom to create.
It kicked off a love for technology that never left me. While my peers hung out at the mall, I stayed home and hand-typed HTML and CSS code into NotePad.
Domains were expensive in those days, but an online friend gave me a subdomain on their site. I taught myself how to use FTP and learned enough Perl to install an early blogging platform called Greymatter.
Having strangers read my blog was the first time I felt heard.
When high school guidance counselors asked me about my career plans, I told them I wanted to work with computers. They said I should focus on a “real job,” not playing around with the internet. Besides, my math grades were bad. And didn’t computers run on numbers?
Every job I held as an adult designated me as the “computer person.” If you had a problem with a spreadsheet or a file that wouldn’t upload, I was the one who could figure out why.
When I had the opportunity to right the wrong of not being encouraged to pursue the career path I had a passion for, I jumped on it.
Created by the author in Canva
Returning to school to learn front-end web development and user experience design at 35 was a proud moment. And because the programming community embraced me, I felt like it was a good decision.
But when I got my first job in tech, the company I worked for was a bad fit. Years of pushing myself too hard paired with a pandemic was a caustic mixture, and I burned out quickly. When I couldn’t sit at my desk without feeling like I wanted to throw up, I knew I had to let the job go.
I planned to take a year off, but my body had other ideas.
My appendix tried to assassinate me. I had emergency surgery and spent nearly a week in the hospital. It took a long time for my energy and mobility to return, extending my sabbatical much longer than planned.
Part of me regrets my career break because the world passed me by. I see others moving on and up, and I’m happy for them.
But I’m also sad for myself. How much further along would I be if my career hadn’t been slapped out of my hands?
The other part of me knows my break wasn’t all bad. I found a great therapist, and I’m now equipped with the tools and self-knowledge to prevent the stress and exhaustion that burned me out and probably caused my body to turn against me.
Created by the author in Canva
When the tech industry chewed me up and spit me out, I thought I was done with web development. But after a lot of self-reflection, I’m starting to put the pandemic years behind me. Not only am I ready to return to work, but I’m also excited about programming again.
I’m starting with training wheels by refreshing myself on a query language I once knew the basics of. I thought I’d suffered major skill degradation since I took a breather, but I’ve been surprised by how much I remember.
Rediscovering my love for coding after a tough career break showed me it’s never too late to rebuild and find your place.
From a teenager creating terrible websites in the glow of a CRT monitor to Army crawling my way through life as an adult, the last few years forced me to rediscover myself.
As I sit here with SQL queries on one screen and this article on another, I hope you see the possibilities in your story after reading about the struggles in mine.
Sometimes stepping away brings us back to what matters.
Top comments (40)
Awesome story. I’ve worked with a lot of great engineers who entered the field ‘later in life’ and/or via the side door. They always have some great perspectives that folks who’ve been in the field since they entered the workforce don’t.
I appreciate the encouragement, Luke! It's comforting to know different paths into tech are valued.
Burn out is no joke. Thank you for this reminder.
Great story, and welcome back!
I love the Canva images you made to break the sections 🤩
Thanks Tyler! I love messing around in Canva 😁
Every job I held as an adult designated me as the “computer person.” If you had a problem with a spreadsheet or a file that wouldn’t upload, I was the one who could figure out why.
ATTACKED. Instead of a high school guidance counselor, this was my mom! I could feel her rolling her eyes when I said I wanted to work with computers, and she said I should get a job at a hospital or a govt JOB -- I could do computer stuff as a hobby. Even when I took it super serious and enrolled in night school, the way she was so unenthusiastic about it made me unenroll because I felt like I shouldn't do it.
Now this behavior was from someone who would ask me a million times how to do something instead of writing it down. Unbelievable.
Like you, at almost every job I've had, I've fixed things instead of IT, I've learned work arounds for blocks company have imposed. I figured things OUT. I really wish that I had've taken the time to learn more during the pandemic, but I was so used to just giving up on things that I went on with my inconsistencies and although I did eventually get an IT job, it wasn't where I truly wanted to be.
Anyway, you've inspired me to keep pushing with my coding! I'm mostly studying during the week , but I'm going to make sure to do small projects on the weekend so that I can recall what I've learned. You've earned a follow~!
Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. It's tough when the people closest to us don't understand, but it sounds like you've found a path forward despite the challenges. Your determination is inspiring. Thanks for the follow, and I'm here cheering you on!
Wow, this is such a cool story to read! Your persistence is inspiring, Nicole... your writing is awesome too! 🙌
Side note: I also don't have an appendix. Mine tried to kill me at age 15! When I can't find my words, I blame it on not having an appendix. Feel free to take that dad joke with ya! 😝
Michael, thanks! Your kind words about my story and writing mean a lot. And that appendix (or lack thereof) dad joke is gold. 😆 I’ll definitely be using that one. Glad we’re both in the no-appendix club and still kicking!
You are very welcome and thanks the thoughtful response!
Also haha, glad you dig the joke! I'm always happy to share bad jokes with folks. 😁
After such a well written inspiring story, I immediatly subscribed and I hope you will share the next episodes of your journey with us Nicole :)
Thanks a ton for subscribing! I’m so glad my story resonated with you. I'm looking forward to sharing more experiences on Dev.
These are the articles I enjoy on DEV, real-life struggles but if you’re a dev at heart, you’ll always come back to it. I didn’t discover any form of programming until I was in my early 30s, but I was immediately hooked. Now I’m 40 and only in my 3rd year as a software developer, but it’s ok cos no day at work feels like work, and that’s what we’re looking for really.
All that matters is doing what you enjoy, from your article I believe you’re great at what you do, because it sounds like you love it ☺️
Thanks for sharing, Fiji! Hearing that you dove into programming in your early 30s and haven’t looked back is so motivating. 🙌🏼
@likeatruckberserker I agree with your statement. Seems like everybody is selling you something to get ahead. The articles on DEV has enhanced my outlook not just for the IT industry for life in general especially as I get older.
To keep my head above water, I leaned hard into things that helped me chill out – hitting the gym, hanging with pals, and getting lost in creative projects. These coping mechanisms were lifesavers, helping me find some equilibrium between work and play.
Thanks for sharing and of course keep going!
Finding that equilibrium is so important, and it sounds like you’ve found some great ways to achieve it. Thanks for the encouragement and for sharing what works for you!
Thank you deeply for sharing your heartening story. My passion for technology and computers has always been a part of me, though life's twists and turns often led me elsewhere. There are moments when I question whether it might be simpler to let go of my dream. However, encountering stories like yours reignites my resolve and encourages me to pursue it just a bit longer.
Thank you for sharing that, Kingsley-Eghianruwa. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone in our struggles and doubts. If my story could offer a bit of encouragement, then sharing it was worth it. Keep pushing forward!
Beautiful piece.
Thank you for sharing!! My story is much like yours but I've been stuck - super ashamed that I was burnt out by my greatest passion. This gives me hope. Thank you <3
Hello fellow Arizonan! 🌵 I appreciate your comment, SKate. Burnout can feel isolating, but it's a more common experience than many realize. It's a sign that you've put a lot into what you love. I'm heartened to hear my story brought you hope. There's a way forward, and you're not alone.
hey me too
Beautiful , good for you ! Proud en go on you will make it you are never to old !
Thanks so much, Nick! Your encouragement means a lot to me.
It takes courage to start over, wish you best of luck and welcome back!
I appreciate your encouragement, Ramo! Starting over isn't easy, but messages like yours make the journey feel a bit less daunting.
This is a great story on seeing things from different perspectives, thank you for the insight!
Much appreciated, Raheem! It's comments like yours that encourage me to keep sharing.
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