Attention my fellow developers, family, and friends, though we are stipend into our homes for a while we shall continue to grow by any means necessary. For most developers, working from home is nothing but a remote job. For me, though it is more like being squished into a tight box. I may feel most comfortable here but not being able to see my team members for my project or have the second home of a school at my disposal is very stressful for me. I say this because most of the time being at school is like getting away from all the things that trouble you when you're home. To add on to the stack I have to look out for my family through this threatening virus. Normally I wouldn't be so worried about these kinds of things but with it seeming as though my father may have the virus, the thoughts of him dying constantly flow my mind. So much as though it makes me want to not work or eat. Its scary, mostly because all of my life he never really got sick and was always strong enough to take care of the people who were sick in our house. Now I look at him on the couch and he needs someone to keep him full of energy and optimism. I feel like I'm being that someone but its been days and we have no way of knowing if he'll even get better soon. To be honest it mostly seems like it's just the same thing all day every day. I don't know if that is good or bad but it's very concerning. My mom's trying, but she also has to make sure neither I nor my siblings get sick. Which is hard since we are all currently in the same house. On top of that, I technical still working on my same schedule as if I was in school so I got to all the meetings, presentations and group call with my team. This is to ensure we stay on track to getting our app done. My work has been getting done but whenever you are grinding towards something you always have to give something up in the progress. Taking a look into that one night I thought to myself how can I make all of this happen without going insane. I need to do everything on my calendar, help out my dad, eat, sleep, stay clean, and relax. I don't have time to do all of them in my opinion and I know one could argue yes you do, but I'm a very different person than most. So I started giving less time to some of those places. I cut my sleep in half to 5 hours and relax when I felt like too much was happening. This allowed me to spend more time working and helping my dad. I was okay with it but as days went by the schedule felt haarder to keep inline with and I started being late. The craziest part was that I didn't feel tired or exhausted I just began to burn out. Maybe I'm ignoring it and just saying fuck it I'm fine(definitely was), but clearly something was slowing me down I couldn't think or work. I began to try and as people say soul search for what I needed to do ort tell myself to be motivated to do it all. Nothing worked until I sat with my dad. He said I've come too far to quit now and I told him I don't plan on quitting I just feel like I just need to step away from everything. We talked about a lot of different things that I won't share but it made me feel better and I was able to see how close I was to finishing and how great it would feel to do it. So I put the hands to the keyboard and ground out everything I could. I even start writing a blog about it all. This virus may have us tied under but ill always come out on top.
P.S, This isn't for extra length, but I actually began to start sleeping longer hours again prayers to all those fighting the battle you have my support and you will win.
<3
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