Challenges of a Junior Developer

I think we can all agree on that imposter syndrome hits even the best of the developers, It is just challenging, And the other thing is not knowing what you are supposed to learn first, The fear of asking what you think is "stupid questions", They keep saying there is no stupid question...but is that really true, The fear of pointing out the methods that works for you, because well, I think you should trust your leaders. Methods they use they have been using long before you, And the COVID19 regulations are not making it easy at all. Everyone is working from home, Who is going to mentor you hold your hand and show you.
I sat there the whole day looking at a code written by over 6 different people and thinking...'maybe coding is not for me'.

Luckily I have a good leader, he kept saying "Its okay if you don't understand , I don't expect you to understand everything so quick"."可以慢慢来"。 In my mind I just wanna feel useful. I wanna work. I want to do something, give me something to do, Ask me to change a textbox, a label, ask me to change the color...anything.

I had a talk with my mentor I told him to make use of me, I told him to give me something to do, anything, I said even If I get it wrong its okay just give me something. He did, well...I didn't understand anything, I called him on Teams and we did it together. We changed 3 lines of code but I understood a whole lot more than that.

I realized that if I could sit with this guy when he's doing this I could understand much better, well not just him. The rest of the team...But people are busy with deadlines and some going on leave...Which I understand...but still, I also want to do my own projects soon. Well...Udemy...is family...and YouTube is a friend.

I don't know...But if you can give advise please do. What am I doing wrong? and what can I do different. How else can I better this situation?