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Discussion on: Not Working is Death?

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misnina profile image
Nina Author

Things not being fulfilling, that resonates. I think maybe I've gotten to a level that my practice projects aren't fulfilling to me, and it's hard to guide myself into a project that would be. The other problem is that because I'm currently looking for and don't have one, there is very little separation between what could be work time and what should be play time. I guess I could try and keep my own hours, but I usually ignore alarms haha.

EVE is going great for me. I think I accept that the game is mainly a PVP game and some people will get their enjoyment from killing, so as long as I accept that I'm okay with the state of things. The number one rule that's been told to me by a very helpful community is "Don't fly what you can't lose". That being said, I've only been killed once. I stream it, and got enough viewers to get to twitch affiliate, and that's has lead to a share of stream snipers. But they're just having their own fun, and I've made friends with one who's now a regular chatter who tried very hard to kill me and just missed, hahaha. It's exciting to me. Though when I don't stream, I just moon mine in high security in my corporation and we collectively have enough gear and ships that if one gets blown up it's no skin off our back to just get another one for our corpmates. It's not a regular occurrence though, so we just relax and chat. I haven't touched being at war yet, I'm still very green in that.

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kspeakman profile image
Kasey Speakman • Edited on

The only kind of side projects that didn't fizzle out for me were things that I found personally useful. For example, I used to be more careless about my finances. Then I would overdraft and get stressed. And I repeated this cycle a number of times. So at some point I decided to make a finances simulator app (front-end only) while at the same time trying a new tech. It really helped me to come up with a system that worked for me, and get a feel for the new tech.

Another example was that I created an EVE skill monitor widget for the Mac OS X dashboard. I was a heavy EVE player at the time (years ago). I eventually learned that EVE was not a fit for me because of the "pervasive PVP" and stopped playing. But the project was useful to me (and others) for a while.

One thing that I have been less successful at doing in my spare time is side projects (volunteer or paid) for others. I've managed to do it off and on, but my motivation for it is VERY low. (The exception being when there is an imminent need, like when things are down.) I work best when I am inside of an organization (rather than outside). And even then I enjoy work the most when I am exploring or pushing the boundaries of what I have done before. I hate busy work. My team likes me doing this, because I can trail-blaze and find helpful paths that the rest of the team can follow.

It took me a long time to realize that this is part of my personality, not laziness or simply chasing shiny things. I have a need to be "creative". (For me, this creativity must serve a useful purpose -- it must make things better. And my creativity is usually more of a synthesis of existing ideas rather than radically new and different.) But I am most fulfilled professionally when I lean into that.

All that to say, perhaps you haven't found the area of the profession that fits your temperament just yet? Be careful not to let other people's notions of what you "should" like about dev become a blocker from diving into what you actually like about it. Your body's own feedback loop (what resonates and doesn't) is a valuable indicator for these kinds of situations.

Thanks for conversing with me about this!

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misnina profile image
Nina Author

I've thought about making an EVE app for anything really, but their API recently changed and there's not a lot of documentation on how to use it so I'm in over my head haha.

I guess I do have ideas of useful apps for myself, I just feel like they might be too big to tackle. I won't know until I try it seems. Thank you too for this conversation! It's helping me think about what I should do next.