Hello Brains,
this post would be a bit unusual, but as you may already know October is dedicated to raising awareness about ADHD. I'm not a doctor...
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I can almost feel you, I'm drawn to technology from a very young age, recently had a mental breakdown,
And had an almost same 'Hare Krishna monk' experience, I'm Indian, and (I don't that much like the iscon community), recently was so drawn, from Shiva to the entire Hindu mythologies, (because I must finish what I've started, that's how I trained myself to cope with fewer ram slots, now it's deep rooted).
I'm very young, 21, and would love to hear more about your life experience.. 🤯
We are not hopeless :) I'm glad to read about you. I think i understand what you mean "now it's deep rooted". For me as a "western", spirituality is not an evidence. I started to learn brain control, reiki and many more at age of 12. That's how i started to heal and re-program myself. Reprogramming myself always changed my environment, mostly to the better direction. At 19 I read the Bhagavad Gita and everything became in context. As a monk i put water on my seed of love. Nowadays, the tree is a mammoth pine tree, which is resistant to the thunders of the material world.
Our mind is in the future or the past. It doesn't understand now. Our hearth is the one who knows now. But it doesn't have any glue about past and future. What really helps me a lot is trusting in the energies of universe, allow myself to truly be in my hearth space without fearing of anything missing out. How I feel myself at the moment, without the history of mine. We are good at forgetting things. That is the moment of who i am and who am i!? Yes mantras help a lot to find the way to the hearth, that is the practice.
Krisna means who attracts everyone, that's why i say Krisna, because I agree. But the eternal love is universal and has infinite of faces.
[big-ass comment incoming]
Yeah, the past and the future, I get it..!
I catch an interesting point, maybe in a conversation or in an article, and build up my train of thoughts from there, nothing else in present or anywhere matters then,
I am just so used to get lost in thoughts, and forget everything
Religion or dharma as we say, the way of life, I very recently learnt about these, despite an Indian background, my family is mostly atheist, so..
But not knowing helped me a lot, I was a strict atheist until recently, and explored all western culture, observed everything in 20 years, from the early 2010s to how weird the western culture is in this current moment, and somehow it triggered sub-consciously that, this cannot be a good way to live.
Until recently, i always chased the best(be it the best js framework, or the partner, or the most bleeding-edge paper in nlp), It was fine till I was a student, I rocked, but, then when the school and college structure went away from my life (I am currently pursuing data science and ai/ml in graduation, but I already knew everything before I began, so I didn't need to attend any lectures or tutorials, just the exams, so no structure, there, I'm mostly absent)
As I always chased the best, I never knew what to do with what I had, because as you explained, we cannot enjoy what's already available in present (for me the thought process is, well, it's already done, what's next,)
I have never sustained a job, in 2 years of my professional life, forgot to attend Google foobar interview, fell asleep in the middle of an openai test (for me, those problems were easy, and well, In my defence, I was tired)
Earned too much, had no clue what to do with it, got addicted in everything, lost everything, now back to, not square one, but with debt, the best girl who supported me since I was 15-16, I cheated on her so much (i knew she was best, she was everything, the pillar of stability in my life, but I was arrogant enough to not believe the truth), lost her too, burned all my professional contacts,
At that moment, somehow I got drawn to religious concepts,
Then I discovered a whole new dimension of unknown, so I explored without doubts, as, by then, everything I knew about everything, felt meaningless.
I have a hindu name so I started from there, and when it felt interesting, for good measures I explored other options too mainly Christianity and Islam,
Then I realised all said the same thing, remove all the mumbo-jumbo and each one of them is just a guidebook on how to live, vast concepts hidden within small weird stories, which may or may not be 100% 'true', but they have meanings and teachings nonetheless, narrated or created by someone who realised the concepts and wanted to help other people. Most people get lost on the details, and can't realise what's at the seed of it.
Then I realised society and by extension reality as most people experience, is just the perceived reality of the collective minds of everyone, and then realised what's god, lurking just beyond the three dimension, where our bodies are trapped, that's your Krishna, (well not exactly, krishna is stated as a complete but human manifestation of what's beyond but you already know that I guess) and so many other realisations, knowledge I didn't what to do with all those, so many paths, from simple to complex how to sync up with present moment, or a better representation would be how to shift my mind to different objects and ideas, efficiently, among so many things, Impossible to write here, or write with words in general
In short I'm still an atheist as I don't perceive God as most people, not as a person but yeah, it works for me.
And a programming career, well I need to start from fresh again, as I said, I lost the most important networks, so about that, 'God' knows.
Everybody has them own universe. We each consume the world uniquely. And we can't share our universes, because we don't have tools to share. So in material view we are very, very alone in this universe. For a long time, when i used my inner energy to create, i thought i can live in my dreams. Nowadays, my life is more than my dreams were ever, so someone else brings the extras ;)
"which may or may not be 100% 'true'" agree, but including material science too. Drinking water is part of our belief system. We as a society have a common belief system. And because we expect the world to behave in this way, we read the signs with these glasses. Circle closed, we sit on the plane, and the plane is flying. Because if we don't believe, we won't sit on it at all.
You almost sound like a wise grandfather (I just assumed your age) 😶🌫️
I'm an ageless 16, in a 43 y.o. body
I would love to hear more from you,
Any chance we could connect,..?
Do we have any common interests? Kubernetes, Docker, Golang? You can find me on those slack communities. Or you can find me on Linkedin too. All the same name mhmxs.
@raiden076 If you are more interested in my IT journey, I have an article from last year :D dev.to/mhmxs/my-journey-at-it-spac...
You are so on point with this article. I was recently diagnosed with Severe ADHD (9/10) based on my doctors analysis'. I live my whole life not knowing i was truly ADHD. I just thought i had problems. Your atricle definitely helps put the disorder in a perspective parallel to coding. Great read! Thank you
Thank you, this means a lot for me, and your kindness made my day.
Great analogies! One way I try to deal with having less brain RAM is to put things in virtual memory (writing things down, leaving reminders in noticeable places). I leave a notebook open on my desk all the time that has my to do list for the week - I just can't close it or it'll trigger a page fault.
You know what your writing has made me consider I actually have the ADHD. It's kind of beginning to make sense now. Especially the time non-lineraity thing. I've been doing the development work since 2010 and I struggle to estimate anything at all, even an html+css landing page. And I am supposed to. This is one of the biggest challenges I've been facing through all of my career. The experience don't help for two reasons:
a) Everything is unique
b) If it's not, I'll make it :D I will find a way to cram my new most awesome idea there.
I'm happy if my post helped to understand yourself better :) I wrote an other one about how i achieve autonomy by proactivity dev.to/mhmxs/my-pro-tips-for-tech-...
I do the same mate, I will find a way to cram my new most awesome idea there. And it works, because my different perspective usually gives gems to the project.
Good luck, happt life, and all the love!
Thanks, this is so helpful. As a coder with [edited: severe] ADHD, it doesn’t really help in most places, but when coding, the hyperfocus is amazing to have, because I can just tune in and go. Also the lack of being able to measure urgency/time is so true, I get that too, especially when deigning out tasks for a coding session. Also, I’ve missed more than a few things while coding. I swear time moves faster, or is that for everybody?
Thanks for sharing this. I agree
time moves faster, and NTP server calls are rate limited to 1 in every two hours.Got diagnosed a few years back at 35.
I fairly confident ADHD is why I'm good at my job as a DevOps Engineer.
Hey. I feel myself as a bridge person, who can connect different thinking persons in almost every aspect of my life. And i fairly confident ADHD is why I'm good at my job as a DevOps Engineer too.
i had to delete all the things that i had written here. after I just watched the video.
The video is awesome but that guy is legally insane. the type they load you up in a cell not in a padded room. lol
"load you up in a cell" do not agree. The song is a parody, he looks a successful person in life :) or i also need to go into a cell ;)
not really ...I'm saying he is insane lolz....like he got mad skillz!!!
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