For me, entitlement can best be fought by developing a few good mental habits. It's easy to get comfortable with thoughts about "things just being they way they are" and "good things only happen to good people like me." But I've been trying a few things that both help me deal with feelings of entitlement, and also just keeping an open mind.
I listen to people's thoughts that I instinctively disagree with, but then take them seriously try to honestly evaluate them. Especially if it's about society and its role in helping me get where I am.
I reassess my worldview and myself whenever I can. I accept I'm wrong about code I wrote all the time, it's just as likely I was wrong about a worldview or part of my identity. Especially if it's about identities and how they influence how the world sees us - and how we see ourselves.
I don't let my mind's tendency for simple, catchy narratives distract me from nuance and new information. I never end a thought or observation without taking a few more steps to find gray areas, or areas I'll likely never fully understand. I don't take simple talking points or catch phrases about tough topics seriously. Especially when my mind gets defensive about entitlement and privilege and tries to deny it exists.
Most importantly, I never see my mind as being settled. Our minds never have the right answer, just more accurate ones. That means I should hold my beliefs loosely and know when to adjust my beliefs, whether they're large or small. Especially when they're about the world being fair, people getting what they deserve, or me being an exception to all the rules.
Entitlement is letting your mind get settled into a luxury sofa and assuming everyone else could just walk over and joining you. Beating it is finding the will to get up, see the long and painful paths others would have to tread to reach it, and realizing you never had to walk them. It will be hard to believe, it'll be painful, and that sofa will never feel as comfortable again. But if I'm lucky, I can sit in it again, relax a bit, and make room for someone else.
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For me, entitlement can best be fought by developing a few good mental habits. It's easy to get comfortable with thoughts about "things just being they way they are" and "good things only happen to good people like me." But I've been trying a few things that both help me deal with feelings of entitlement, and also just keeping an open mind.
I listen to people's thoughts that I instinctively disagree with, but then take them seriously try to honestly evaluate them. Especially if it's about society and its role in helping me get where I am.
I reassess my worldview and myself whenever I can. I accept I'm wrong about code I wrote all the time, it's just as likely I was wrong about a worldview or part of my identity. Especially if it's about identities and how they influence how the world sees us - and how we see ourselves.
I don't let my mind's tendency for simple, catchy narratives distract me from nuance and new information. I never end a thought or observation without taking a few more steps to find gray areas, or areas I'll likely never fully understand. I don't take simple talking points or catch phrases about tough topics seriously. Especially when my mind gets defensive about entitlement and privilege and tries to deny it exists.
Most importantly, I never see my mind as being settled. Our minds never have the right answer, just more accurate ones. That means I should hold my beliefs loosely and know when to adjust my beliefs, whether they're large or small. Especially when they're about the world being fair, people getting what they deserve, or me being an exception to all the rules.
Entitlement is letting your mind get settled into a luxury sofa and assuming everyone else could just walk over and joining you. Beating it is finding the will to get up, see the long and painful paths others would have to tread to reach it, and realizing you never had to walk them. It will be hard to believe, it'll be painful, and that sofa will never feel as comfortable again. But if I'm lucky, I can sit in it again, relax a bit, and make room for someone else.