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Goodbye

luqman10 profile image Abdul Qadir Luqman ・1 min read

So after 6 years, I’ve decided to say goodbye to programming. Why? You ask? I’ve been addicted to watching pornography. This has led too so many complications in my life and depression. I’ve tried quitting my addiction for years without succeeding. After so much pain, a councilor told me if I really want to quit, I need to apply militant measures. Meaning I have to get rid of all sources that fuel my addiction. My laptop and smartphone are the primary culprits. So I’ve decided to get away from these two by leaving them behind. Obviously, I can’t code without my laptop or the internet. Therefore coding has to go also. But hey, if that’s the price i need to pay for my freedom, so be it. Sorry if I’ve been so dramatic but i’m just saying it as it is. Thanks to dev community for all the help. Going into the future, I wish you all the best. You’ve been awesome. I’m out. 👋

Discussion (43)

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Pablo Martí

I am happy for reading this, you are in your way of changing your life and with that the life of many others. You just remind me something Jesus said "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away" on Matthew 5, totally recommended, the point is you have to be radical when searching for the best. I recommend you in case you don't have it to search for someone to be walking with you, an accountability partner. All the bests!

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Thanks bro. All the best too

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Jose Gonzalez

Good luck, Abdul!

As a fellow recovering addict myself (not to pornography), I empathize with you.

Must have been a difficult decision and I salute you.

If there's anything I can do for you, feel free to PM me.

Just a word of caution: Watch out for the void this addiction will leave. That's the real challenge.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Before porn became an obstacle in my life, i played football a lot and was very good at it. Now that I’m leaving porn, I’m going home to my first love. Anyway thanks again for reminding me of the potential void to fill

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rhymes

Good luck Abdul, it's a good thing you asked for help. Hopefully you can come back to programming in the future.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Yeah maybe. Thanks 🙏

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equinusocio profile image
Mattia Astorino • Edited

I don't understand your decision. I respect it, but i can't understand it. It's like to say "I will not buy food anymore because i eat too much" 🤔

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luqman10 profile image
Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Only those who have suffered this addiction will understand

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equinusocio profile image
Mattia Astorino

I don’t understand your solution. Not your addiction.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Food is a basic necessity of life, without which one may die. I’m sorry but technology although has made life easier in some ways isn’t a necessity of life. A lot of people live without the internet, laptops or a smartphone. Therefore your analogy of food in comparison to my decision to stay away from tech doesn’t hold up.

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equinusocio profile image
Mattia Astorino

You should not compare food and technologies, but solution effect => problem.

I still can't understand. In 2018 you can do your work and be aware from what you don't want to see.

What about blocking sites and sources you don't want? Children at schools can learn how to use a computer without access to any porn sites. What about working offline?

Laptop and smartphones are not the only way to access such content, you can even do it with the pay tv, you can buy porn dvds if you want.. i just think that your solution is not entirely related with the problem.

Even masturbation can be an addiction, cutting the penis is not a solution. By cutting out technology i think your are not working on the cause. This is just my opinion and i keep respecting your decision. Good luck.

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jan paul

This is definitely, by far, the strangest thing i ever saw here on dev.to

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Mike Miller

Classic case of Too Much Information

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luqman10 profile image
Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

I know it sounds strange but very very real

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Adrian B.G.

I do not how to respond, I admire your courage. Not a lot of people can fight their problems!

Maybe you can find a teacher or consultant work, or something similar, never the less, good luck!

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Darkø Tasevski

This escalated quickly :S

Maybe use some kind of blocker/filter for porn websites? Any plans on what you will work on in the future?

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Porn blockers and filters always have loopholes trust me. When the urge hits, its like a junky who wants his fix. You’ll always find a way. As for what I’ll do now, I’m sure I’ll find something doing.

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Joe Hobot • Edited

I think the loopholes you found is the problem with the setting. Congrats on xyz addiction to be brave and take action, everyone is addicted to something but its the thought process and WILL where it all starts.

A smoker could drop coffee and beer as those are the morning and evening triggers, but to overcome the smoking addiction is the WILL to say NO, NO MORE!

I would say that eliminating triggers is a good thing as it makes your process to overcome any kind of addition easier. Have been a smoker for long time, and tried cold turkey many times and it worked for a bit.. then I tried meds, that was worst. However eliminating coffee and switch it with tee made a big difference and vaping.

All in all, what I am trying to say is: Have a real sys admin look at your laptop and lock it down with group policy that you can not view any type of po*n sites or anything even related to it.

You should not give up your "Passion" for coding or being online. But if its easier for you , go ahead and take the battery out and say goodbye. I am just trying to say that there are methods of being present online with limited access, and trust me there is NO loopholes you can break.

Blockers and filters are crap for what you need and I totally agree with you.

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JD Gonzales

Man, good luck to you. That's a hard thing to try to stop and it took me years and multiple layers of safe guards in place to get away from it, but the urge never goes away 100%. It messes with your mind, relationships, views of other people. Hope things pan out in whatever field you go into. This is something to definitely be proud of.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Thanks senior. I’m happy someone who really understands this struggle appreciates my decision

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Ivan

Hi, Abdul! Have you consider using offline environments only? Just download as many documentation as you can and "rip your network off"? You will probably have issues with working on real projects, but learning and practicing something relatively stable (C, Lisp, R) will benefit you.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Yeah I’ve tried so many methods in the last 6 years including working mostly offline. But when the urge hits me, I’ll do whatever possible to satisfy that. That’s why it’s clearly an addiction. The best way for me now is to stop using all internet related gadgets

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Destiny Ajakaiye • Edited

It is very rear to find this kind of courage that you've display.

I wish you all the best in going back to your first love and I do hope that one day you would return back to programming.

Good luck Abdul

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Rifai Martin • Edited

I suggest that you install the rewire companion application, there are many people who experience problems like you, maybe you can get friends there, so don't be shy ... to get better, because you need to sacrifice

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Thanks for your suggestion 🙏

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Kasey Speakman

I also want to express my support. I applaud your courage to share and to take action. You might not feel this way due to your struggles, but the world needs more people like you.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Thanks for the encouragement 😢🙏

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Quentin Caillaud

Good luck to you Abdul, I think you did the right thing, always value your health and well being over your career.

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leob

Man, brave to confess that, and good that you decided to do something about it. Yes that's a drastic measure ... so if you quit programming, what will you be doing for a living then?

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

I’m going to think about that later. So many alternatives to choose from

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Andy Zhao (he/him)

Best of luck, Abdul! We're all rooting for you :)

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Harleigh Abel

I m sorry to hear that. Best of luck to you. And congratulations for having the strength and bravery to make such a difficult decision.

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Patrick Tingen

Hi Abdul, good that you fight your addiction, I sure wish you all the best, but just out of curiosity: are you going to drop your phone too or switch to a dumb phone?

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

I’m going to switch to a flip phone. Anyway thanks for asking

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Rachel Soderberg

Best of luck to you! You are on a good course, and perhaps once you are more in control of it you will be able to return to coding. Goodbye is not always forever!

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Ben Halpern

Good luck in future endeavors!

You have learned more in code than simply developing software. It will serve you well in future endeavors.

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Abdul Qadir Luqman Author

Thanks Ben. You guys are doing an awesome job here

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delubio de paula

Good for you man. Do it. Feel good and breath of fresh air.

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