So after 6 years, I’ve decided to say goodbye to programming. Why? You ask? I’ve been addicted to watching pornography. This has led too so many complications in my life and depression. I’ve tried quitting my addiction for years without succeeding. After so much pain, a councilor told me if I really want to quit, I need to apply militant measures. Meaning I have to get rid of all sources that fuel my addiction. My laptop and smartphone are the primary culprits. So I’ve decided to get away from these two by leaving them behind. Obviously, I can’t code without my laptop or the internet. Therefore coding has to go also. But hey, if that’s the price i need to pay for my freedom, so be it. Sorry if I’ve been so dramatic but i’m just saying it as it is. Thanks to dev community for all the help. Going into the future, I wish you all the best. You’ve been awesome. I’m out. 👋
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Top comments (44)
I am happy for reading this, you are in your way of changing your life and with that the life of many others. You just remind me something Jesus said "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away" on Matthew 5, totally recommended, the point is you have to be radical when searching for the best. I recommend you in case you don't have it to search for someone to be walking with you, an accountability partner. All the bests!
Thanks bro. All the best too
Good luck, Abdul!
As a fellow recovering addict myself (not to pornography), I empathize with you.
Must have been a difficult decision and I salute you.
If there's anything I can do for you, feel free to PM me.
Just a word of caution: Watch out for the void this addiction will leave. That's the real challenge.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. Before porn became an obstacle in my life, i played football a lot and was very good at it. Now that I’m leaving porn, I’m going home to my first love. Anyway thanks again for reminding me of the potential void to fill
I don't understand your decision. I respect it, but i can't understand it. It's like to say "I will not buy food anymore because i eat too much" 🤔
Only those who have suffered this addiction will understand
I don’t understand your solution. Not your addiction.
Food is a basic necessity of life, without which one may die. I’m sorry but technology although has made life easier in some ways isn’t a necessity of life. A lot of people live without the internet, laptops or a smartphone. Therefore your analogy of food in comparison to my decision to stay away from tech doesn’t hold up.
You should not compare food and technologies, but solution effect => problem.
I still can't understand. In 2018 you can do your work and be aware from what you don't want to see.
What about blocking sites and sources you don't want? Children at schools can learn how to use a computer without access to any porn sites. What about working offline?
Laptop and smartphones are not the only way to access such content, you can even do it with the pay tv, you can buy porn dvds if you want.. i just think that your solution is not entirely related with the problem.
Even masturbation can be an addiction, cutting the penis is not a solution. By cutting out technology i think your are not working on the cause. This is just my opinion and i keep respecting your decision. Good luck.
This is definitely, by far, the strangest thing i ever saw here on dev.to
Classic case of Too Much Information
I know it sounds strange but very very real
Good luck Abdul, it's a good thing you asked for help. Hopefully you can come back to programming in the future.
Yeah maybe. Thanks 🙏
This escalated quickly :S
Maybe use some kind of blocker/filter for porn websites? Any plans on what you will work on in the future?
Porn blockers and filters always have loopholes trust me. When the urge hits, its like a junky who wants his fix. You’ll always find a way. As for what I’ll do now, I’m sure I’ll find something doing.
I think the loopholes you found is the problem with the setting. Congrats on xyz addiction to be brave and take action, everyone is addicted to something but its the thought process and WILL where it all starts.
A smoker could drop coffee and beer as those are the morning and evening triggers, but to overcome the smoking addiction is the WILL to say NO, NO MORE!
I would say that eliminating triggers is a good thing as it makes your process to overcome any kind of addition easier. Have been a smoker for long time, and tried cold turkey many times and it worked for a bit.. then I tried meds, that was worst. However eliminating coffee and switch it with tee made a big difference and vaping.
All in all, what I am trying to say is: Have a real sys admin look at your laptop and lock it down with group policy that you can not view any type of po*n sites or anything even related to it.
You should not give up your "Passion" for coding or being online. But if its easier for you , go ahead and take the battery out and say goodbye. I am just trying to say that there are methods of being present online with limited access, and trust me there is NO loopholes you can break.
Blockers and filters are crap for what you need and I totally agree with you.
Man, good luck to you. That's a hard thing to try to stop and it took me years and multiple layers of safe guards in place to get away from it, but the urge never goes away 100%. It messes with your mind, relationships, views of other people. Hope things pan out in whatever field you go into. This is something to definitely be proud of.
Thanks senior. I’m happy someone who really understands this struggle appreciates my decision
I do not how to respond, I admire your courage. Not a lot of people can fight their problems!
Maybe you can find a teacher or consultant work, or something similar, never the less, good luck!
Thanks man 🙏
I suggest that you install the rewire companion application, there are many people who experience problems like you, maybe you can get friends there, so don't be shy ... to get better, because you need to sacrifice
Thanks for your suggestion 🙏
Hi, Abdul! Have you consider using offline environments only? Just download as many documentation as you can and "rip your network off"? You will probably have issues with working on real projects, but learning and practicing something relatively stable (C, Lisp, R) will benefit you.
Yeah I’ve tried so many methods in the last 6 years including working mostly offline. But when the urge hits me, I’ll do whatever possible to satisfy that. That’s why it’s clearly an addiction. The best way for me now is to stop using all internet related gadgets