This is a quote by Richard Benson, that's important for anyone who's looking for a mentor to internalize. It says, "A great match for one person may be a bad match for another."
Don't look at another person's mentoring relationship and think... oh, if only I had that person as a mentor or if my mentor was like that. Here are some considerations to think about as you look for a great mentor.
First, start with YOUR needs. Try answering the following questions;
- What is it exactly that you're looking for?
- Does it have to do with progress in your career?
- Does it have to do with progress in your own company or in the industry in general?
- What are the things that you're hoping to get out of that relationship?
- Do they have the time or interest to volunteer as your mentor?
These are five considerations to think about as you look for a mentor that will be right for you.
Identifying your needs will help ensure that you find the right mentor to help you meet those needs. You should find a mentor who has done what you want to do. They have already gone down that path, they know what it looks like... and they can help you navigate that path because they've been down the path.
Developing chemistry between you and the mentor is critical. If you feel like there's something missing in the interpersonal relationship before they're your mentor... you might ask yourself whether you think that can change or not. If the chemistry will never be there, it might not be a good match.
In addition to chemistry, personalities are really important. Some people are very abrupt with their feedback and they can come across as offensive. They're not necessarily trying to offend you, they're just trying to be very honest.
I'm not suggesting that there's going to be a right or a wrong personality match for you... but if you do feel like there's tension in the relationship, you might want to study up on personalities to see what the difference is between their personality... and your personality, and how to work together and communicate better.
Of course, when you think you've found the right mentor... you need to make sure that they're actually in a place in their career where they can, and they're willing, to help you.
So now, where can you find someone to be your mentor? Start off with who you know. Who is in your network that you think would be a great mentor for you?
As you brainstorm names to be your mentor, what I don't want you to do is disqualify people... assuming that they wouldn't be your mentor. Write everybody down on a list without already deciding whether they want to do it or not.
Once we have a list, we can prioritize the list and work down that list, but don't automatically cross people off. In addition to who you know, people in your first-degree network... think about people that you could get an introduction to, or who are people that your first-degree contacts might know.
Obviously, you can use LinkedIn to dig deeper into your network, including your first-degree contacts and beyond. Don't discount other social networks like Facebook or Twitter.
Typically people don't go onto Facebook or Twitter because they want to be a mentor or even have a professional relationship with you... but if you have connections on Facebook or Twitter or other social networks... those might be people who can be a mentor or introduce you to someone who could be your mentor.
Also, ask your colleagues and the people you work with. You might ask questions like;
• Who do you admire in our company?
• Who do you think has had a great career?
• Who has helped you in your career?
These are three questions that you can ask your colleagues to get some great ideas... for who the right mentor might be for you.
Top comments (5)
codementor.io/ is one effective way.
Can you let me know more about Codementor? I have gone through the website. I still need answers to some questions. You can send me DM on twitter @saheed_olad
The website looks nice though.
Too many places to communicate. We're not going to add twitter! haha.
With Codementor, you can get expert help - and pay a human to sit with you and teach you OR you can be the mentor and get paid to help people. Many of us do that - on both ends. For example, there was a time where we needed to prop up an express app - and didn't know express well. We found an express expert and learned 10 hours of stuff in one hour - and life was good. Other times for example @sheriffderek mentored a few people for 6-months or so - and now they are much better at programming then him. It's basically how we started out teaching - and now we've decided that our school is how we'd prefer to teach.
They seem to be pivoting into some sort of other company though.
Other ways to find mentors are to ask in a specific discord, here on dev, at a local meetup etc - but we found that when you put money on the table - things happen. We've also just reached out to our favorite internet personalities and asked them how much it would cost to talk to them for an hour each week. It works! but - when people try to do everything 'for free' - people miss meetings... and they just don't take it seriously enough. Money - is the binding proof of respect. How do we know? Because between us - we've probably offered intense personal and FREE mentorship to over 30 people - and it never worked out. Every time someone paid for it - it was a super success.
If you need to put money on the table for someone to mentor you, please don't do that. You will eventually gain nothing out of the mentorship.
I don't go against gifts during the mentorship, but don't use the money to motivate your mentor at the beginning.
I believe mentorship should come from the heart of the mentor and mentee. Not to initiate it through money.
I have mentored over 40 persons and I don't request money from them. If they give me a gift I collect.
You become oblige to the mentee if you are paid for the mentorship even when they are not taking your instructions seriously.
This makes no sense. "You should never pay for bread - because you can get people to give it to you for free... and if they were to be paid... then they would feel obligated to give you bread."
Once in a while, you can find someone to mentor you for free. There is only so much time for each person. Our own @sheriffderek , for example: mentors many people without payment for various reasons, but - that has nothing to do with how paying for tutoring or mentorship works in general. If you respect the teacher's time, then you barter with them. Surely - when you sign up for codementor to teach people - we'll be able to check and see that your price is 0$ ;)