In my post on 5 Surprisingly Effective Ways to Find the Right Mentor... I discussed what you need to do to find the mentor that’s right for you. In this post, I will differentiate between the two types of mentoring relationships you can have.
Digging a little deeper into what it means to be a mentor... let's differentiate between a formal mentor and an informal mentor.
The formal mentor knows about the relationship. This is someone that you've approached and in one way or another have invited them to be your formal mentor. They've agreed to this relationship, and they know what their role is in the relationship. You've also had a conversation about the expectations of the relationship. They know what the expectations are and they agree with those expectations.
In a formal mentoring program, you'll typically have regularly-scheduled sessions with the mentor. Whether that's every week, every other week or once a month, these are scheduled out for quite a while. Typically, a formal mentoring relationship is a long-term relationship. Let's contrast these with an informal mentor.
An informal mentor might not even know that you consider them your mentor. Over the years I've heard someone talk about people who they consider a mentor. They never had a formal mentoring relationship, but they learned things as if that person were mentoring them. In an informal relationship like this, there aren't necessarily regular meetings.
You can have meetings, you can go to lunch, you can have phone calls, whatever type of meeting you want to have, but they're not scheduled out over the next year. You might not ever talk with or meet your informal mentor.
You might just read a column they write or listen to them on the radio. Because you don't have a formal relationship set up with them if you have the opportunity to talk with an informal mentor... and ask them for feedback on a certain situation, they don't have any obligation to give you honest feedback.
There isn't necessarily a relationship of trust built... and they might not have enough information to really give you honest feedback. If you do have a meeting with an informal mentor, there is no obligation on their part to prepare... or even think about the meeting before you sit down with them.
Finally, you don't need to have a relationship with someone in order for them to be an informal mentor.
If you have further questions, please drop a message below or DM me on twitter @saheed_olad. I will respond as soon as possible.
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