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Cover image for WAO: How do you measure Developers?
Nathan Kallman
Nathan Kallman

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WAO: How do you measure Developers?

Cover photo by Michal Matlon on Unsplash


Wrong Answers Only

How do you measure a developer? How do you know that they're 10x or a ninja or a unicorn?


Comment your wrong answer!

Top comments (14)

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willtrout profile image
Matt Willtrout • Edited

Use measuring tape. Quality is inversely proportional to proximity to π * B where B/π is the height of the ideal programmer.

  • measuring tape is how you measure people
  • everyone likes pie!
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patricktingen profile image
Patrick Tingen

Quality is related to caffeine intake, so count nr of cups of coffee.
Black only of course. No suger.

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kallmanation profile image
Nathan Kallman

Oh no! But I don't like coffee... do you think my job is at risk?! /s

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patricktingen profile image
Patrick Tingen

Absolutely! Unless you can repair a stick printer

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kallmanation profile image
Nathan Kallman

In before someone mentions WTFPM

Comic: The only valid measurement of code quality: WTFs/minute; Good Code: WTF, WTF; Bad Code: WTF, WTF is this shit, WTF, dude WTF, WTF

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grahamthedev profile image
GrahamTheDev

I like to measure developers by their ability to fix a printer.

Everybody knows that if they have a developer in the family they must know how to fix a printer otherwise they must be a noob!

For some reason my family went paperless a long time ago....🤔

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aminnairi profile image
Amin

The less they are willing to be paid, the better.

If they can do the work of twelve people, they are also better.

10 years of experience for a 3 years technology? Automatically better.

Microsoft Docs as IDE? Boom: better.

Don't want to learn something new and better because lazy or opinionated? That's right you guessed it: #betterdev

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elmuerte profile image
Michiel Hendriks

Print out their code and put them next to it.

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kallmanation profile image
Nathan Kallman

Oooo, if we combine this measurement with @inhuofficial 's of fixing the printer first I think we might be getting somewhere!

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winstonpuckett profile image
Winston Puckett

With the metric system.

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kallmanation profile image
Nathan Kallman

I much prefer to be measured in bald eagles per apple pies, thank you very much.

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winstonpuckett profile image
Winston Puckett

At least it's not the imperial system 😆

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granthair5 profile image
Grant Hair

https://dev-to-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/articles/g5e6sj6c94ncal0yfeli.png

The only true way to know a code master is by the amount of plaid on their plaid shirts

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