I get that. I've struggled with hallucinations too, mostly auditory though. Used to have the visual ones when I was very young, but mostly nowadays it just sounds like people talking in another room even when I'm in the car or totally by myself etc. You get used to them for the most part. Also, while I am verbal most of the time, I do have a non verbal state that happens during periods of intense anxiety or excitement. For instance, if I finish an bear of a project that I think is super cool, it passes all my tests and functions as intended, I lose my ability to speak. My brain will be going too fast to form words. I can sign to my wife though to tell her what I need.
This article has a two-fold meaning. One is personal, to pretty much let this community know 'Yeah, I'm 25-30 degrees off center from what you would consider normal. Just letting you know now that I'm not ashamed and if that bothers you, my content may not be your cup of tea so move along.'
The second is to try and demonstrate to others in this community who suffer that they do not need to try and blend in and "be normal". If your neurochemistry and physiology are wildly different than most, there or plenty of us who are absolutely cool with that. Whether you were born with that alternative wiring, gained it via incidents of abuse, or acquired it after some messed up stuff you saw in uniform, we don't care and your welcome. People have been hating others for stuppider reasons since the beginning of civilization (religion, tribe, skin color, national or regional origin, etc). This kind of hate is infinitely dumb because you can't even see why we're different, you just observe our methods and form a Lynch mob of one form or another (social, career, economical, etc). I am very happy that you are okay with, and even proud of your differences and that you see them as making you special instead of the defective way most feel. This article, I hope, will convince others to feel the same way about themselves. Your comment is just another example of somebody with alternative wiring who is a boss and they know it. Thank you so much for it!
You're very welcome <3 !
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