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This has been answered.

By XKCD of course.

XKCD 224

 

The world is too confusing for it to have not been created in JavaScript.

 
 

Considering that our experience of time-based reality is a by-product of our physical inability to perceive in more than 3 dimensions, I have to wonder if the language isn't something designed to run in parallel across multiple dimensions. Something like Linda maybe ;)