DEV Community

Kenny John Jacob
Kenny John Jacob

Posted on

How an (almost) argument landed me a new friend

Misunderstandings between people can happen anywhere but it is more prevalent during online interactions than in real life interactions. The primary reason for this is the lack of non-verbal cues that we naturally pick up when interacting with someone in real life. I am writing about an incident that happened today, and hope that others can be inspired by it and have more positive interactions online.

I was going through an article on Indie Hackers and came across a very valid point that was added on by someone in the comments. It resonated with me and I replied to them with the intention of agreeing with him. The comment author mistakenly understood my intent and they got angry because they felt I was insulting them.

The person then went through my almost empty profile and commented on the one other post on Indie Hackers that I had written, and said I was a bad person spreading negativity. He also replied to my original comment in a negative way. I was very sad to say the least, and also felt so bad that someone felt that way about me.

To clarify, (and I am not bragging) I am someone who loves people and I try to add value to people wherever I am and whatever I do. So these negative responses from that person made me feel super bad.

I took a look at their profile, and realized that it was not a troll account, and that it was just a misunderstanding and I responded with a reply saying that I was sorry for the misunderstanding. I also mentioned that it felt hurtful to me because I was not intending to hurt him or provoke a negative reaction in the first place. Then the person understood the situation.

He apologized in the comments and deleted/reworded his original comments. I also accepted that my reply was ambiguous and could have been interpreted the way he did. I told that I would edit my reply to make it more clear, and he said he would be more careful too.

I put the incident behind me and wanted to be friends with them. We followed each other and I am happy to have made one more internet friend today πŸ’™

Text as a medium is difficult because you don't have the context of body language as we normally would.

So be careful when writing online to ensure that the correct intent and meaning is coming through. Also, don't lose your cool online πŸ™‚ you might just make a new friend like I did. And be nice to people.

Top comments (2)

 
johnjacobkenny profile image
Kenny John Jacob

Yes you are right, I have not spent enough time in proofreading to ensure consistency. I will take your suggestion and avoid making this ambiguous. 😊

Collapse
 
johnjacobkenny profile image
Kenny John Jacob

Just wanted to be gender neutral πŸ˜… I think they/them is used when we are not sure about their preference, correct me if I'm wrong