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John Phillips
John Phillips

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Learning with Self-Help

Let's start with introductions.
Hi, I'm John Phillips.
I'm an aspiring web developer.

Like everyone else, I have many flaws, I embrace, resent and blame them. I'm not ashamed to discuss my "failures", or my "flaws", consequently the creation of this post.

So, let's get started...

My thoughts on "self-help".

I've always HATED self-help advice, still do actually.

Why?
  • Harmful Advice. ✅
  • Empty Promises. ✅
  • Egotistical Writers. ✅

Now, this is a stern belief, I know, so why have I found my success in learning and believe it's an incredible approach to learning?


Failures

I've failed at too many things in life, of course due to my
own self-loathing
. I struggle to continue working on topics I believed I wanted to understand.

I had attempted web development several times over the course of a decade, and I'll say again, due to my OWN self-loathing, decided to stop trying.


The Blame

A few years had passed, blaming my 'compulsive nature' to abandon everything I work on, I found it easy to pick up and ditch projects...

Of course, this blame game was an issue, it was an excuse that many of us make, taking pity on our-self's, temporarily making us feel good.

The Resentment

I resented my 'compulsive nature' and refused to learn anything else, believing it just wasn't my 'destiny' to be educated, successful or even happy.

This was starting to become a problem.

Embracing My Flaws

On the 12th of August, 2020. I decided to stop self-loathing and actually solve this "problem" because that's all it was, a problem that required solving.

I wanted to become a developer, however; I knew that this wasn't going to come to fruition unless I fixed this problem I have.

I delved into books, guides, blogs, videos you name it, attempting to solve this 'problem' and after a few months, I made progress.


The Problem

This "advice" had given me a quick fix, these self-help guru's would talk about their stories of success, never actually explaining the pain, sacrifice and stress they took to get to their goals; hell, perhaps they fluked their success, but, this isn't going to happen, not to me, you or perhaps anyone else reading this.

Following and believing in this advice was ruining my progress, my self-worth and my confidence. Blindly following these Guru's was just irresponsible and stupid, to be blunt.


The Fix

What pain do you want in your life?

This was a quote from a book published by Mark Manson.

Mark is like the Ghost of Christmas. Brutally telling you how it is and not what you'd like it to be.

This particular quote caught my attention, and I believe this is how I've failed and if you feel the same way, perhaps you are too.

Mark explains that in life, everything has a sacrifice. Simply put; A house needs repairs, A job comes with stress and a relationship requires work.

Undoubtedly, you're happy to go through these 'pains' and that's exactly why you're untroubled by the thought of them; likewise with learning.

I believe this is a great philosophy to follow. So far, It hasn't failed me, I am happy to go through the pain and struggles of being a developer and that's exactly why I'm still here; rather it is the pain I enjoy that has allowed me to continue my fight.


Wrapping Up My Points

Ok... My points? This perhaps dragged on for far too long; however, I want to show you that what you're going through is common, especially for beginners, I still struggle even now, a year later.

Following blindly to one guru is a waste of your time and effort, ensure you filter the useful quotes and information that tailors to you.

Self-help Guru's that try and give you a boost of encouragement are mostly doing what we call in retail 'customer satisfaction'.
Don't fall into the same pitfalls I did and receive a burst of motivation.

Solving your own personal issues is crucial to learning, if you find yourself continuing to blame a particular 'feature' of your character, then find a solution for it.

Easier said that done, for sure, I still struggle to this day, but after a year of struggles, my problem has become more of an asset and hence, embracing it.


NOTE: Re-reading this, I planned on leaving it unpublished; however, I will post it regardless of how I feel in hopes that it motivates someone to do something of similar nature.

P.S This is my first blog, It's probably flawed, messy and not well structured. But, It's an attempt and something I aim to get better at.

Thanks for reading. Best of luck learning.

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