Mixed emotions: Saying goodbye to a team member

*NOTE: This content was inspired by an earlier post of mine as a thread on Twitter.

Something I’ve struggled with when leading a team is saying goodbye. Such a mix of emotions! When somebody gets that next step in their career, it’s so great to see that success! At the same time you are told as a manager: “People don’t leave companies, people leave managers”.

So here you are, super happy for somebody and hoping that something you did helped them achieve this… while also thinking “Did I do something wrong? Was it me?” Like, seriously, Brain, calm down and pick a lane.

It’s easier to think about it with some time removed from the situation (like I am now). Still, no matter what answers you actually get from a person, no matter how direct the feedback, that little voice inside of you doesn’t stop nagging: “YOU MUST BE VERY BAD AT THIS YOU SHOULD STOP!”

Just me? Cool. Cool cool cool.

It conflicts with the mindset I want. I believe my role is not necessarily to keep the same crew together, but instead to give room for the individual to grow out of the team. I’m trying to learn from Pieter Brinkman (@pieterbrink123 ) who created a great space for us with room for creativity, experimentation, and career growth. We should all have that.

In my opinion, a manager’s role is to provide the opportunity for a team member to build out the skills needed for the job after this one. Hopefully, that type of environment for continuous learning and growth means that the current job they have IS the next job for them. And if I’m lucky, that means they’ll stay to grow more.

Not sure what exactly got me goin down this rabbit hole.

Maybe it’s this whole “Great Resignation” thing going on that has me on this, but I guess the summary is this:

1. Treat your team well.
2. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
3. Yes, your brain will still say you suck.
4. People can sometimes be pretty great for you.