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Gabriel Toma
Gabriel Toma

Posted on • Originally published at toma.dev

One on Ones - Keep it human

Every manager holds them - it's standard practice. But are they really connecting or just ticking off a box on the agenda? These meetings are supposed to be more than a corporate routine. They should feel personal, open, and firstly human. Like a safe space where feedback flows freely.

I never bring an agenda. It's not a corporate briefing; just two humans having a conversation. I might end up talking more sometimes (even tho' I don't want to), but I'm always there to listen. To connect. It's a space to speak openly, without filters. And trust? It's built here, in these non-scripted moments.

Confidentiality is key. Unless it's something extreme, what's said in these one-on-ones stays in the room. I've kept that rule for years. These meetings aren't just about work but about building a relationship. Talking code stuff, Netflix series, vacation plans - whatever comes up. I'm there to listen.

Forget the scripts. Drop the formality, stay real, and let the conversation flow naturally.

If this resonates with you, discover more on my blog!

Top comments (4)

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Salli Figler

It’s great that you have these meetings- how do you get your folks to talk honestly and how do you know they are being honest?

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Gabriel Toma

Thanks for asking, Salli! I think the key is creating that space where they know it's genuinely safe to speak openly. Building trust takes time. I don't push with an agenda, I ask open-ended questions. Over time, people see I'm there to support, not judge. If there’s any hesitation, that’s feedback for me to work (more) on the trust.

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Joshua Worsnop

great initiative

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Gabriel Toma

Thanks, Joshua!